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Smloggy 67 “Summerfest Edition”
Here is a blog from the summer 2012. It took me 6 months to post this. I am very lazy. Actually, it took me 6 months of editing and correcting all the grammatical errors.
Intro
One
of my favorite times of the year. Summerfest! This year I bought an
all day access pass for $45 since it's the 45th year
anniversary. Gone are the days sneaking in, hopping turnstiles,
and/or jumping fences to get in for free. I'm actually.. really
going to miss doing that. That was half the fun for summerfest right
there. Maybe... just maybe... all do it for old times sake. Also,
each day I wore a different NBA jersey.
Summerfest
Day 1
Dirty
Heads, Lupe Fiasco, and Steve Miller Band
Wednesday
June 27th, 2012
Jersey
Worn: Jason Kidds Dallas Mavericks
The
first day of Summerfest is referred to as “The Big Bang” because
of the fireworks. We arrived late because there was so much traffic.
We ended up watching the fireworks from the parking lot roof we
parked at. Oh well....fireworks are fireworks. To make this
summerfest night interesting I brought my one hitter. It's the one
hitter that looks like a cigarette but it's really a metal pipe. So
with that being said I was feeling “irie” and “chill”. We
went to to the Dirty Heads which is like Sublime meets surfer rap.
They were very good. A lot of teens were packing pipes around us.
It was amusing to watch young high kids pack a bowl.
Then,
it was off to Lupe Fiasco, an underground hip hop artist. It took me
awhile to realize we were at Lupe Fiasco because he had a live band
that sounded like rock music. I asked several times, “Is this Lupe
Fiasco?” I was paranoid throughout the whole night, thinking I was
going to get knocked out by some random kid, and because of all the
loud noise surrounding me.
Lastly,
we went to Steve Miller Band. On the way to Steve Miller Band, I saw
a co worker of mine. He told me he was getting in trouble with his
employer because they caught him peeing in the woods while he was at
work. Good luck friend! Fight the good fight. We arrived at the end
of Steve Miller band show, so we got to hear all the classics.
I
forgot to mention I was wearing a Jason Kidd Dallas Mavericks Jersey.
So throughout the night, kids would be like, “I love the jersey...
oh yeah.. and you have nice hair...” This happened about 3 times
this night. One time, an obnoxious high school kid asked me, “are
you the real Jason Kidd?” I responded “of course I am”. He
wanted to learn how to shoot so I told him I would teach him.
In
conclusion, a lot of dudes liked my jersey and my hair. Hmmmmm....
Summerfest
Day 3
Morris
Day & The Time / Jimmy Cliff
Friday
June 29th, 2012
Jersey
Worn: Charles Barkley Phoenix Suns
On
this night, me and my brother pre gamed like no other. We finished a
bottle of cheap whiskey. Actually the only reason it was cheap is
because it was on sale. It was an $18.99 liter for $8.99. The name
of the whiskey was... wait for it.. FECKIN spiced. In retrospect, it
was so FECKIN good! So, I as I said we polished off this bottle of
whiskey and what we didn't finish went into a ziploc bag to sneak in.
Just like last year, with my crotch rum, I made some crotch whiskey.
So, as soon as we got in, I went to buy a soda. I layed my $3 in a
horizontal row on the counter for my purchase. The soda attendant
was not impressed but I certainly was amused. On our long journey to
find Morris Day & the Time, we ran into a lot of acquaintances.
I explained my crotched whiskey to a group who was quite intrigued.
One lady wanted to try this drink but her friend had to remind her
“it was in his crotch!!!”. I agreed. As we were walking more,
we made a friend on the way. He worked at Summerfest and ended up
coming. He was quiet and didn't drink. He didn't last long. Morris
Day & the Time didn't keep us engaged so It was onward to Jimmy
Cliff.
Jimmy
Cliff is a classic reggae artist. We got nice and close to the stage
and kept walking through the crowds looking for ganja. I wasn't
going to smoke any I just wanted to look cool and ask people for it.
Unfortunately, I didn't find any, but people pointed me in the right
direction. I had the most fun at this concert because I ended up
having a “battering ram” contest with some fellow summerfest
goers. Aka I had a “human jousting contest” in where we ran into
each other and tried knocking each on the ground. I lost the first
round as this kid knocked me to the ground. The other three times we
tied. Then summerfest was over, it was midnight but we still partied
and went to the bars. This is as far as I want to remember.
Summerfest
Day 5
Mayer
Hawthorne
Sunday
July 1st, 2012
Jersey
Worn: Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls
Sunday
is usually a day of rest for me. I go to grandma's house play cards,
enjoy dinner, and lie on the couch and be lazy. However, the
greatest modern day soul musician was playing at Summerfest. His
name is Mayer Hawthorne. I didn't think I was going to drink before
the show but we went to a “welcome home party” for a family
friend. We arrived at 3:30pm and we left at 5:00pm because the show
started at 6:00pm. I must've had 5 beers and 3 shots in a 1 ½ hour
time. I secretly took 2 of those shots when no one was looking. I
mean, we were just making excuses to take shots. We just rattled
them off like it was nothing. It was nice to see our buddy and we
had a lot of excitement, so adrenaline was at an all time high.
On
the way to the show, as my mother was the “dd”, we enjoyed miller
lites illegally in the backseat. We arrived at summerfest, yet all
our adrenaline seemed to disappear in a moment. The concert was good
but not great. All our hype was gone. Something was missing. We
got drunk in a hour and got sober in a hour. It was quite the
oddity, everyone was hammered then sobered up quick. It's still a
mystery to me. Sunday Funday was over.
Summerfest
Day 6
Tiesto
Tuesday
July 3rd, 2012
Jersey
Worn: Schlitz
Another
deathly hot day in Milwaukee. There were whispers of no fireworks
because of the humidity. However, they went off. This night started
with the cheapest bottle of Rum I ever bought. I purchased a liter
of Fleischmann's Rum (yes, Fleischmann makes Rum now). It was $7.99
but on a sale for $4.99. I had a few drinks before we caught the
Summerfest shuttle but I did make a mixed drink in a big gulp cup
with half the liter of Rum. This would suffice for the night. As we
got on the shuttle, the fireworks were already going off, so we
missed those. No big deal... I'm not 4 anymore. We arrive at
summerfest and I tell my buddies that we should go to this bar that's
near summerfest to get cheaper drinks. So, we go and do a few $4
bombs and I get a mix drink and pound it. I must've been drunk
because I bought them a round of bombs. We all have a good buzz and
enter Summerfest. My buddies have only one interest in going to the
Tiesto show. Tiesto is one of the most popular DJ's in the world and
he was performing at the Marcus Amphitheater which was a problem
because we didn't have tickets to that show. So, we quickly survey
the gates to see if we can sneak in. I'm a little worried but we do
some recon and we find a security breach. There is a picnic bench
near this fence and no security. Too good to be true. We discuss
among ourselves if we should jump the fence. Then.. in a instant my
brother jumps the fence. I tell my other buddy, “I guess were
doing it”. We hop it and no one sees us. Were in! I thought last
year was my last time sneaking into Summerfest. Well, I was wrong.
This show was full of ravers of all ages probably on extasy just
sweating there glands out. I pumped my fist, screamed, and dripped
all kinds of man sweat. This concert sobered me up without a doubt.
Summerfest
Day 8
Death
Cab for Cutie
Thursday
July 5th, 2012
Jersery
Worn: Jason Kidd Dallas Mavericks (again)
I'm
not sure how old Death Cab for Cutie is, but if your in this band and
over 30 your no longer cute. I think you need cut down your name to
“Death Cab”. I didn't feel like drinking so I decided to do the
other “vice”. This other “vice” got me nice and chill and I
was ready to enjoy their music. A few teenagers remembered me from
the Jimmy Cliff concert. He was very excited to see me. I didn't
recognize him and I still don't. I played it off like I remembered
and we exchanged high 5's. I wish I knew what we did at the concert.
Oh well... you win some you lose some and you lose some more.
Summerfest
Day 9
Fitz
and the Tantrums
Friday
July 6th, 2012
Jersey
Worn: Latrell Sprewell Golden State Warriors
Started
this night at Aarons House. We pre gamed with Blackheart Rum (best
mid range priced Rum in the game right now). We filled 20oz bottles
of cola with half rum for road sodas. We also filled ziploc bags of
rum to sneak in. Remember, this is called crum (see crotch
equals rum). I filled 2 bags.. one for front and one to put in the
back. We were meeting friend's there, so we had to wait for them at
the gate. While waiting at the gate, we slammed are road sodas full
of cola/rum. This was a bad idea because this is why I probably
don't remember the Fitz and the Tantrums show. Another bad idea was
making 2 ziploc bags of rum to sneak in. When I got in, I bought my
soda and talked with the soda guy about how I was going to mix it.
He was a little annoyed.. whatever. Arrived at the concert and had
to maneuver my way into the front. One lady in particular didn't
take too kindly to this and yelled at me screaming, “we've been
here since 6pm”. I let her yell at me and acted like I didn't
care. Then somehow we made it into the front row. My brother tried
to fake push me over the fence. Security didn't like this and gave
me a warning. Also, another guy tried getting in my face. I can't
really tell you why but I almost freaked out. It was time to leave
this concert. We stopped at Thievery Corporation to hear a song that
I don't remember. Summerfest was over but my night was not. I
apparently ran to Flannery's by myself. When my brother arrived he
noticed I was talking to a random guy and drinking his vodka/seltzer.
He had this idea to go to Dicks, so we went. My dream came true
tonight. Who did I see at Dicks? Latrell Sprewell. And
coincidentally I was wearing his basketball jersey from the Golden
State Warriors era. From what I hear I tapped his shoulder saying
“hey I'm wearing your jersey”. I guess I was playing with his
hair. I'm surprised I wasn't knocked out. Apparently, the manager
who we know works there talked to him about the incident the day
after. He was cool about the situation. I guess my claim to fame is
saying, “i played with Latrell Sprewell's hair”.
Summerfest
Day 10
Anthony
Hamilton/ Common
Saturday
July 7th, 2012
Jersery
Worn: Old School Milwaukee Bucks tank
I
didn't even want to go to Summerfest tonight because of the raging I
was doing the days previous. However, if you go to Dukes before 9pm,
you have no option to party and do shots because everything is a $1.
Well, all rail drinks and crap taps are $1. It started at 6:30pm
with a few beers and then mixed drinks and then shots. I'll tell you
that rail whiskey and rail tequila is by far the worst shots one can
take. One guy in our group vomited because of the hannous taste.
This
bar had a shuttle to summerfest which was nice. Our plan was to take
the 8pm bus. We were all boarded on the bus and then decided to get
off because we wanted to drink for another hour and take the 9pm
shuttle. So, we did more $1 shots. I mean people were buying shots
like they were being sold for pennies.
We
boarded the 9pm bus which was pretty rowdy. We thought about
sneaking out the backdoor because traffic was so hectic, yet we were
so close to Summerfest. I'm pretty sure the bus driver had seen
enough of drunk adults. He snapped and with a pissed off Ice Cube
rant, he yelled “ if you open that mutha fuk*in back door all ya'll
muth fukas will get off the bus right now”. I literally got scared
but not really because I said “yeahh yeeeahhh” in my best Ice
Cube rendition.
We
arrived at the grounds and saw Anthony Hamiltion. I didn't care for
him because he is R & B but he was good and uptempo. I remember
some random girls asking if I was Jewish and then they started
speaking Hebrew. We decided to leave the show and walk around. On
our walk we bumped in some one we knew. They were at this VIP
section of a rooftop where they got free beer. We were interested
and were hoping that they would share their passes with us. We went
to the rooftop they were at but couldn't find them. I tried sneaking
through the back stairs but was stopped by this lady. I got yelled
at security and played dumb like I knew what I was doing. Then it
was off to see Common, who I enjoy immensely. This concert was a
blast even though we caught the end of it.
The
End.. See you next year Summerfest..
Twos....