Sad Bananas # 3 Hot Job

 Things Are Warming Up

Yeah man yeah

   

I try to stay fit. I say “try” because when I workout I just do light intensity. I don't drink protein shakes, put up big weight, or grunt like a grunt at the gym. I do a quick 20 minute workout, drink water, light dumbbells, and don't even make a moan when I do my light intensity . I also alternate using the sauna and steam room to get my sweat on.  Why actually do exercise to sweat when you can sit in a sauna and do absolutely nothing to sweat?  Today was sauna day!  I enjoy the sauna as it's relaxing, peaceful, and entertaining. I say entertaining because occasionally you will get an old naked dude drying off his senior citizen nut sack.  I guess that's entertaining in a weird way.  I call it "wierdtainment".  Or you get the random dude wise cracking in the corner about something dumb. Or listen to other guy moan about some remedial thing that is wrong in their life. 

Me on the left. Car Salesman on the right.

Today, I got the guy talking to me about his life which turned into my life.  I am often in the sauna for 15 to 20 minutes.  However, the longer I'm in there, the more I put myself at risk to see testicles of all ages, sizes, and colors.  It goes without saying, "I don't want to see saggy man nuts".  Just as I'm about to leave, a meat headed 40 something year old who is too jacked for his own good (think testosterone, HGH, deer antler spray) strikes up a convo. He asks, "you must work outside you got a good tan” as he in looking at my legs. He is talking me up like, “what are you 20?” No, I'm 30. Great... I'm thinking this guy is going to corner me with his bulging biceps and do naughty things to me. He tells me about how he used to work for Cadillac but couldn't deal with their customers so he works at Hyundai. 

Hmm... what to do?

I make my way out and he is still talking about car stuff. Some how he finds out I'm looking for work and from there he goes into sales mode.  He stares at me with crazy eyes and speaks with persuasive intent if I want a job working with him at the Hyundai dealership. He said, “How much you need to live $5k, $4k, $3k?... I'll start you at $2k.. with a $1,500 signing bonus... you will train with me.... not to blow smoke up your ass.. but you got the look.... you got the talent... I guarantee you will be making a lot of money and be happy in a few months.... I'm willing to vouch for you... all you got to do is clean up your neck hair .... come in tomorrow with a tie and shirt... if you don't have a tie...I'll get you one.... I have 20 ties and I will put it on you in the parking lot..... will get you started... I'll teach you everything.... I'll get you a desk with a computer....you will be driving a company car just like me.... I've made $2,000 in one day.... I'll show you my pay stub..... I believe in a guy like you” I told him I'm not a salesman after hearing his sales pitch. He says, “well... do you have a wife or a girlfriend?... I say "yes" to having a girlfiend and he responds, “there you go... your selling yourself everyday”. He says, “follow me to my locker and I'll give you my business card”.

What could have been?

 I willingly follow him to his locker where both of us are hot, sweaty, and have our shirts off still. I'm not sure why I follow him but when you are this desperate you would follow a half naked dude to his locker if he was going to offer you a job. He told me to come in the next day to interview with their hiring manager. I told him I would think about it over the night. It sounded enticing but I just met this guy in a sauna who was talking about my tan, then 5 minutes later he is offering me a job. I don't want to be this guy's little pet at work.  I don't want to do all this guy's b*tch work while he gets paid. This guy tries to play me for a fool, idiot, and/or a pushover. Yes, I am those 3 things but I'm a smarter new breed foolish pushover idiot. 

Sad Bananas # 2 Stranger Danger

 I've Been Stranger Dangered

How people used to shop for groceries

    I used to hate going to the supermarket to obtain groceries but now that I put things in perspective I don't mind. It's better than having to hunt and gather your food for countless hours a day. In the Paleolithic Era hunters spent whole days searching for wild game, animals, and rodents to kill. Women spent hours of gathering berries, nuts, and twigs for a meal's worth of food. Not only do they have to hunt for it but they had to prepare it through , skinning it, butchering it, and cooking it.

    What do I have to do to get a meal's worth of food? I just go to the supermarket and everything is already “hunted” and “gathered” for me. I put my seat belt on and drive my Toyota Sedan to the nearest grocer and easily find a parking spot. Am I one of those persons who have to get one of the nearest spots near the store? No. Do I find the furthest spot from the store to make a point about not being the closet? Yes. From there I walk an extra 50 feet! Yes 50 feet! OMG! You should think about walking too! It might even out those Oreos, Twinkies, and 2 Gallon Tub of Ice Cream you are going to eat when you get home.

    Anyways from there I go through the automatic sliding doors that open for me (god forbid I open a door by myself) and then I get a cute little basket (or if I go green I bring my own bag). Then I just have to look for food in the aisles which are nicely labeled, buy the food with cash or credit, and then cook it by microwave or oven. Very simple to be a present day hunter and gatherer. It's the convenience of modern technology. I digress as I was not supposed to write any of that. Rather I was supposed to talk about an instance I had at the self checkout lane a few weeks back. Here is my self checkout lane situation.

Dumb Lady & Dumb Kid
at Self Checkout

     I prefer to use self checkout because then I don't have to talk to a grumpy cashier lady who secretly judges all the food I buy. Screw off check out lady! I will buy pounds of pounds of meat. I'm carnivorous and love it!

      So, I'm at the self check out lane ringing up my items minding my own business as a young kid walks up to me. I'm about to smile and say hi to the little fellow but then from the adjacent self checkout lane his mother utters, “stranger..... stranger danger.... you know better than that... stranger danger” and the kid walks back to his mother. Great... I think to myself... everyone around me thinks I'm a pedophile. I could understand if was wearing a trench coat, had long greasy hair, and was looking disheveled, but honestly I wasn't for once.  I was just Stranger Dangered by an adult. It's a somber feeling to be branded a “stranger” that will cause “danger”.

What a real stranger
looks like.

     At that moment I felt like hiring a real life stranger to cause danger to this overprotective mother. I don't know where or how you hire a stranger but I felt like teaching this “b*tch mom” a lesson. It wouldn't surprise me if they had www.strangersforhire.com to creep out kids, families, and/or co workers.        Anyways, I get embarrassed and say nothing as I quickly pay for my things and exit the grocery store as to make eye contact with no one.
   I didn't want to start an argument with a stressed out woman with 4 kids because I'm a pushover. Instead.. passive aggressive me conjures evil scenarios in my head about her demise.  My first instinct is to look back at this mom and say, “excuse me... I work with kids as my profession” but I don't. This dumb mom lady incorrectly used the stranger danger code of conduct. I was no more than 6 feet from this dumb lady and her dumb kids and she had the audacity to cry out “Stranger Danger”. 

    Probably the best thing that can happen to this woman would be if someone kidnapped one of her kids. Does this lady really need 4 annoying kids? We should only be allowed to reproduce no more than 3 kids! With one less kid she would be way less stressed and save a lot of money. Also, by having this kid kidnapped she wouldn't have to save money for this kid who probably won't have a future anyways because he is dumb enough to talk to a stranger like me. Actually, I think this lady should be kidnapped or “adultnapped”. That will show her to not call a stranger a stranger.

La Cabezas - Hungover At Night Review

Music Album Review

La Cabezas- Hungover At Night

By Nude Dude

Here is the link.  La Cabezas Mixtape Just Click and Listen! I review each song on album.

Producer EP and Rapper MC M.U.T.T

Pre Game (Intro)

The album starts off by MC M.U.T.T (Music Used To Transcend) making a checklist of what he “needs” before he goes out to party. On that list is “pills, weed, and expired condoms”. Yes, your heard it right “expired condoms”. With that being said La Cabezas waste no time in setting the tone for this drug induced alternative hip hop party album. Forgot the metaphors. This album is direct and to the point. They don't beat around the bush they give you the bush. This album is collection of dark thoughts and demented beats produced by EP which happens to be my brother. This album is what happens when Tyler the Creator and LMFAO (and I mean that in a good way) become conjoined at the hip to make a disjointed style of hip hop (pun intended).

Velvet Ropes

As soon as the La Cabezas are done with the Pre Game they get right into the mix by going to the club. They plead there case to get in the club even though they have been smelling like “Marley”. “Marley” is a classic weed reference in hip hop songs. MC M.U.T.T sounds like an early 90s laid back rapper. Velvet Ropes is a spooky version of a Too Short/Devin the Dude song with a quicker uptempo beat something that most laid back rap stoner songs lack.

Lemme See Your ID

This song is pretty self explanatory. It begs the question, “Lemme See Your ID”. This song is short and to the point. You would think age would be in question but MC M.U.T.T hints that this “suspect hoe” might really be a man not an under age girl with a fake ID (which most of us would assume (as I just assume an assumption)). This song has a repetitious chorus with an electronic dance feel vibe.

Vodka Water

We have all spent a night in “the drunk tank” no matter what age you are. A reference to whorish girls are a common theme in The Hangover. I enjoy how La Cabezas poke fun at arrogant girls with braces who have corpse like bodies who talk to much. This song promotes in having alcohol in it's purest form “have jameson straight” and don't taint your alcohol with other additives.

Bitch Rain Champagne

In this song it sounds like the La Cabezas make their way to the very salacious dance floor. I think that when MC M.U.T.T raps “make that bitch rain make that bitch rain champagne” I believe he is saying, “make a girl orgasm real good”. However, I could be wrong he could “want a bitch to rain champagne”. La Cabezas no matter how much they rap about loose women they also have there own shortcomings with abusing drugs.

Album Cover

Klap

It's weird reviewing a song that you are on, especially a song that relishes in how the younger generation thinks it's cool to get STDs. We live in a world where the only things trending on the internet are vile horrible instances. What else can be a trend? Promiscuity? Drug Use? Alcohol? All of those things lead to the Klap. La Cabezas want to be the first ones to let everyone know not to be ashamed of your STDs but to wear it like a badge of honor and “klap”.

Put Your Titties Away

This headbanger is for the children (not really). Well it's for girls who think it's cool to take selfies of their tits. This song has a positive message for all those self conscious girls who succumb to society and magazines thinking that the only way they can get attention is by showing off their body. La Cabezas don't want to see your tits they want to see your mind.

Who You Booty Calling

If I had to categorize this song I would call it a deep house booty hip hop song. I'm not sure what deep house means but my friend is a deep house DJ and it sounds as if this beat is a deep house track with rapping vocals.

Hungover At Night

This song MC M.U.T.T crones about how crazy and drunk the night was. It's reminiscent of a drunk Andre 3000 song from album The Love Below. After saying that they want girls to put thier titties away they change their mind and in fact want to see the girls titties.

Overall

There is always something “dark and gloomy” about an EP produced album. Just a pinch of depression in each song no matter if it's a happy club track or a straight hip hop beat. EP brings his own unique uncharacteristic beats that go against the norm. He is DJ Swizz Beats meets Timbaland meets a deranged 28 year old (him). It's a sound that no one else can recreate which goes by no method. MC M.U.T.T plays by his own rules as well. Even though I compared a lot of his flows to different rappers he is a grainy emcee that does it his way. That what makes this album so earthy as it does not conform to any genre thus making their own genre which is tough to categorize. If your looking for an original flavor with no additives this is the album to listen to.  

Sad Banana # 1

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What A Jerk (Short True Story)

                                                               What a Jerk This Guy Was

                                                                     A True Short Story

      What I thought would be a routine trip to the grocery one morning turned into witnessing a tragic moment that may change my life forever. I'm a proponent some say an advocate of pooping in public restrooms. I have no qualms about it and never had a problem. You build your toilet paper nest and take a seat and go to town. Or if your a girl you can hover as if you were a bird flying over a pond dropping turds from the sky. I immediately go to the bathroom because I need my morning movement for the day. I start my day off right by dropping the deuce. I realize I'm doing it backwards. I should defecate after I go grocery shopping because now I'm going to have fecal matter all over my food products. I know that I can wash my hands after I poop but I was just literally wiping my @ss for 10 minutes. Do you think I want to pick pears from the fruit isle, get a head of fresh iceberg lettuce from produce, or scoop some chocolate covered raisins with my @ss wiping hand? The answer is NO! I don't care how much soap you use, it's the thought of my hand near my @sshole for for a long duration of time.

Anyways, this particular grocery store is clean so when I build my nest, I only use one layer. I don't build nests like I used to. Remember the 90s when hot pockets, tombstone pizza, and tina's burritos were all the rage. You had to build a 5 layer nest to sh*t in those toilets. That food will give the runs lets be honest here. Being that this grocery store was in a nice area, clean bathrooms, and friendly staff, I chose to build a quick 1 layer 2 ply tp nest.

     

      Let's get to the point. My poop is going great. I can't have a better poop. Everything is right on time. There are no hiccups in this poop. I'm texting my friends I haven't heard in awhile, thinking about what I'm going do today, and what I'm going to have for breakfast. Just doing the normal stuff we as humans do on the crapper which is poop and think. But I hear a little something from the other stall which makes me think “what the hell is going on over there?” I don't pay attention that much because I am so in engulfed in what I got going on in my toilet that I block it out. I can't seem to ignore the constant huffing and puffing in short breath intervals. I think “oh great this guy is jerking off”. Yet, I don't want to assume this guy is jerking off you know? It's not the first thing I want my mind to jump to while making an assumption about the guy next to me in a public restroom stall? At this point I try to suppress my mind of him jacking off but then I hear him speak. He utters the words, “sorry for all the racket...I just got the morning blues”. I respond, “don't worry about it”.

      

      At this point I assume he is having a real hard time taking a sh*t. We have all been there when it's a process to push one out and to no avail. So, I give the guy the benefit of the doubt in which in hindsight I probably shouldn't have. Again, I hear a couple of groans and the classic jerk off sound that every guy knows about. The classic short slapping sound of your clothes rubbing together as your hand is vigorously peeling one off. I'm in denial at this moment in time. I still didn't want to believe that this guy is the notorious nutter. Then in a very depressing voice I hear the man state, “you got to do it somewhere. when your not getting any at home”. F*ck!!! My life became still. It was confirmed that this man was indeed jacking off in the stall next to me. I don't know why but I responded with “you got to do what you got to do”. There was no time to think about a clever response. What if I ignored him? What if I scolded him? For whom, am I to Judge? Would have this angered this man? I didn't want to anger him. You don't anger a man with a loaded gun... never. This guy essentially came to the sound of my voice. It was around 8:00am at this time. That's too early to have a guy cumming to my sultry smooth voice. Man.........This guy was in mid jack off while trying to hold a conversation about how he was jacking off next to me. This is not the way to start the day off right.

    

      I immediately scrambled my fidgety hands for the toilet paper to wipe and go. I assumed he heard me trying to leave and wanted to beat me out of there (no pun intended). I believe he wanted to leave before I left so I wouldn't tell on him. I was cornered though, there was no way to escape so I decided to hold down the fortress. Also, I couldn't have hopped off the toilet during mid poop and have a load of dingle berries in my underwear. I didn't want to walk around the grocery store with an itchy @ss. I needed some god@mn eggs! I changed my stance there was no way I was leaving until that guy left. I assumed he blew his load during our conversation as I heard him pant and groan some more. I didn't want to think or hear about it. The damage was done. He had won the wank off war and I was a victim of this man's debauchery .

   

     After he brought himself to completion, he flushed the toilet and made his way out. He didn't try holding a conversation anymore as he had used me. He metaphorically “hit it and quit it”. I would like to think he was embarrassed at this moment but this guy was a professional. Professional Jacks like him have no morals. They don't fall in love with their victims. Anyways, I didn't want to look through the door crack to put a face to the perpetrator. I peered through a little just to catch a glimpse of a badger red sweatshirt as he walked by my stall. At this point I listened to see if he washed his hands or if he was just going to flee the bathroom for a quick getaway. I heard him wash his hands and leave. I stayed in the bathroom stall to lament on what the f*ck just happened? I felt gross, ashamed, and dirty. I had a lot of thoughts going through my head at this time. At first I thought it was my fault. I was asking for it by wearing my high shorts and crocs. This guy took my manhood, dignity, and integrity only to throw it all away. I felt like this guy wanted me to jerk him off. I felt like he wanted to cum on me. Thank god there was no glory hole. It didn't matter if there was no glory hole, I was within feet of catching cum on my crocs. Who knows where this dude came? We don't need people like this in society. You could say this guy was a real jerk!

   

     I finally got the courage to get up off the toilet seat. More thoughts invaded my head as I thought grocery store workers were going to blame me for jerking off. I had to wipe quick and get off the toilet seat so I wouldn't appear to be the sticky bandit. I slowly opened the door and it was clear. No one was in the bathroom. I felt disgusted because this bathroom was full of depressed middle aged cum hand or hands (not sure if he used both hands). I had to pick a sink to use. Which sink did the cum bandit use? The right sink with no soap in it or the left sink with all the soap suds in it. I assumed this public puller was a responsible masturbator, so I figured he washed his hands in the left sink with all the soap suds in it. I went for the right sink to wash my hands. For a second, I thought it was a trap but I concurred “a lil man juice never hurt anyone”. Lastly, there was the inevitable door handle to leave the bathroom. My heart skipped a beat for a minute as I stared down the door handle. I imagined all the seamen hands that have touched that man handle. Now I know why so many guys use the paper towel trick to open the door.

   

     I left the bathroom into the grocery store reflecting on what just happened. Do I tell customer service that a guy in red was talking to me and jacking off at that same time in the bathroom while I was taking a poop? I couldn't concentrate, my body was numb, my senses were off. Why God? Why did you let me hear this? Was this a sign? Did I miss the lesson you were trying to teach God? Is the lesson not to jerk off in public because I don't do that God. I would never do that God. I have a computer for that kind of stuff and I'm sure that guy has a computer too. I don't care if the guy was not getting any sex at home. Don't f*cking go to the grocery store public restroom to peel one off then talk about peeling one off while I'm in the next stall. There are plenty of places to rub one off in your house. Maybe you should try to woo your wife a little better than telling me ( a guy you have never met) about you jerking off in public. Godd@mnt, maybe I should stop using god*mnt. Maybe that was the life lesson. Either way bring on the tally whacker therapy and cum counseling because I'm a trauma victim who needs help.

Thank you for reading. I feel a lot better now.

14 Hours From Unemployment # 1

“14 Hours from Unemployment” # 1

Intro

This blog is a spinoff of the ever so depressingly popular My Life Unemployed series that lasted 13 posts. The writers of Life Unemployed had to take a good look at our direction and reevaluate our motive. We realized that we hit our prime sadness and wanted to go out on top of the bottom. We don't want to end up like Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, or any other band that was good for 10 years then continued to make music into their elder years. We are not reinventing the wheel around here at American Wet Dream Industries... simply we are rebranding. Also, changes to my employment has made it mandatory that we change the name of our blog. If we didn't, we would be fraudulent and guilty of false advertisement. The origin of the name comes from that I'm literally 14 hours away from unemployment. As of this posting I will be working at 2 non profit jobs that total 14 hours combined a week, hence the name 14 Hours From Being Unemployed. So.. moving forward we will have our classic segments of the blog that our readers have ranted and raved about. Not only will we have our classic segments but we are excited to be adding multimedia. The future is here! We now have the technology and knowledge to add jpegs, gifs, and other forms of media.

Name Ideas for New Blog that Got Rejected By Our Staff (Aka Me)

-14 hours from Being a Nobody

-Deadbeat Diary

-I'm a loser baby so why don't you read me (to the hum of that Beck song)

-Life Hate Me

-God, Can you love me again?

-What did I do to deserve this?

-I'm a Boy in a Man's Body

-Sad Bananas

-Insert Clever Blog Name Here

-I Almost Qualify for an Unemployment Check

-I should've voted for Romney

I Try to Buy Pants

   My first day as a “happily” part time employed man I do what anyone else does when they get a part time job..... go shopping!!!! I don't go to the mall to shop for over priced clothes... I go to places like TJ Maxx, Burlington Coat Factory, and Goodwill. I thought I would try my hand at being a Maxxinista so I went to TJ Maxx. A Maxxinista, as defined by the Urban Dictionary, a person who shops a the discount designer department store TJ Maxx. One who finds unique and original designer items at discount prices.

   I needed a pair of athletic pants since my job is primarily working in coaching youth sports. I'm very particular when it comes to athletic pants. I don't want sweat pants because it will make me look like a homeless hobo (double negative.. I know). I also don't want those loud pesky wind pants that feel like your wearing a garbage bag for pants. Finally, I don't want those thin silky athletic pants that give you a boner every time you walk briskly. So with that being said it's tough to find a good pair of athletic pants for me. It doesn't help that I have large T Rex thighs and carnivorous calves that look like those of a rhino.

   I walked through the door of TJ Maxx and made a quick dash to the clearance rack. Unfortunately, there were no athletic pants at the clearance rack. It must be athletic season. So.. I went to the Menswear Athletic section to find a few racks of men's athletic pants. To my dismay these pants were in the range of $25 (and this was after the markdown). Can you believe some of these athletic pants were originally marked at 40 to 55 dollars? I was shocked to find athletic pants to be this much when we all know that everyone looks a dork in the future in athletic pants.

  I perused the large pants section of the athletic pants rack and found not one but 2 pairs of basic black pants for $15 each. I thought this was a steal! This is my price range! I wanted to try them out to see how they looked in my bottom heavy body. Who knows they could turn out to be skinny athletic pants? I bet they would make skinny athletic pants. I make my way to the dressing room and get my dressing room number from the dressing room attendant lady. She gives me a plastic card with the # 2 since I'll be trying on 2 items of clothing. That's dressing room 101 etiquette folks. I put my pants on the hanger hook and undress my pants. I'm very excited at this point as I'm getting this awesome deal on athletic pants for cheap. Something seems odd though. They seem awfully small as if I could fit only one of my monsterous legs into the whole pant. I look a little closer at the tag and its says boys size 14/16. “God@mnt”, I mutter under my breath several times as I'm not a happy camper. I put the gd pants back on the d@mn hanger and slowly walk out to the attendant. Great.. now the attendant thinks I like to sniff and try on boys pants. I bet she thinks I have boys pants fetish. So.. I knew if I didn't say anything she would realize I was a creep. So the first thing I say in a puzzled look, “i guess these are boys pants?” She looks at the tag and replies, “they sure are”. My buyer confidence is crushed. She explains to me where the men's section is as if I'm a blind man who doesn't know how to read. She simplifies the directions as if I was a boy who bought men's pants. Your wrong lady! I'm a man trying to buy boy pants! I don't go back to look for new pants... instead I hang my head low and walk out to the dejection of me trying to buy pants.

Jobs Applied For

Hunger Task Force – Development Department Assistant

Dude... I would love to get this job because it involves food. This job would be primarily in maintaining and developing donor relationships with companies to set up food drives. Man... I would set up the bins and marketing supplies at companies to get food for the poor. I would totes take all the good food out of the bin. This jobs is a gold mine of free food!!!!!

Center for Veterans Issues- Job Developer/Placement Specialist

If I got this job I would help veterans in obtaining a job. Shoot... if I got this job I would place my @$$ in a job. You know? I would give myself a job if I had that job. I would be a Job Developer in that I would develop my own job then be a Placement Specialist by placing my special self in that job. Done deal.

My Life Unemployed #13

My Life Unemployed #13

Intro/All Bad Things Come to a End

Hi... How are you?.... Doing good? That's good... Good to hear... Thank you to all that read about my adventures or misadventures during my life unemployed. Thank you for joining my misery in my quest for a job, career, or whatever the hell you want to call it. Unfortunately all bad things have to come to end. The usual saying is all good things come to end but in my case nothing was good so thus insertion of bad. I will be returning to work ,unfortunately part time work that is. I will be working at 2 jobs totaling a whopping 14 hours a week! I know take a deep breath and soak it all in. Even more depressing news is that I will be returning to a job that a college aged student would have. I even cut my hair into a mohawk to look like a younger “dude”, so people won't judge “the old guy” working “the young job”. People often ask me, “If I'm in school?” or “I have a kid your age”. I usually play along so as to not offend them (even though they think I'm a teenager in college). Let's stop tickling around here and get at it.

Jobs Applied for

Packerland Rent a Mat- Route Service Representative

I threw in the towel on this one. I was feeling very unskilled, unmotivated, and useless when I applied for this job. I felt like I've stepped on all my life so why not be the guy who supplies fresh clean floor mats that people will step on. It's not me they are stepping on anymore.. it's the mats! I want to be the floor mat guy! Let's take a negative and make it a positive. This job would entail me driving a medium duty truck to assigned routes to customers. Then I would exchange floor mats and/or laundry products within my customer's facilities. The perks would be that I work by myself, get exercise, and be outdoors for a bit (and when I say outdoors I mean walking from the van to the location to get the mat).

Here is a link to their website if you would like to see more of what they do.

http://www.packerland.net

Americorps Vista- Youth Development Program

If got this job I would be considered a full time volunteer and receive a stipend of $946 a month for one year. This position is providing skills and programs to low income families to prepare them for college. I found this a great opportunity because I would teach all these kids to not graduate with a god@mn useless History degree like I did. I would say, “Don't be like me or else you will be writing a weekly blog about your miseries and making everyone around you depressed”. Real talk... this would be a great way to give back and make an impact.

Outro

This may be my last My Life Unemployed blog. I would like to thank all the writers who helped in making this blog a reality. You give me the inspiration, desire, and motivation to keep making this dream a reality. I would like to thank my family for supporting me in these tough times. Most of all.. I would like to thank my fans. You guys have been great. You make life unemployed that much greater. You know who you are. Keep on shining! Okay... enough of that... that was my attempt at being sentimental. Even though this is the end of Life Unemployed.. the party has just begun you dumb f*cks!

Coming Soon...

14 Hours From Unemployment