Bloggy Smloggy 50 (50th)

Intro

I wish I had something cool to write for my 50^th blog but I don't. Same old sh*t. Just me blahing away.

If ain't broke don't fix it, right? I like how I talk my blog down before you even get read it. Note to self: that's not a good marketing technique if you want people to read your blog. If turds, testicles, and tits bring the readers then keep typing away.

Wipe Transportation

Have you ever pooped in a bathroom and all the toilet paper was out? Of course you have. Then, you have to waddle to the closet for more tp. But, in my case, I had to go to the other bathroom, because at the place I was pooping at, I didn't know where the back up tp was (but I knew where the other bathroom was). So, I flushed the toilet at the first bathroom I was at and made way to the next bathroom. I slightly pulled my pants up and hoped that no dingle berries would fall out. It was a quick dash to the next bathroom as it was on the same floor . I just had to go through one room to get to the other bathroom. I was the only one home, so it didn't matter if my pants were half way down my ankles. I made it the other bathroom, took a seat, and wiped my butt like I was just dropping a deuce there. Yet, I felt like I was cheating on the first toilet, because I dumped my load in it, and then left for the other toilet for the wipe. Don't cheat on your toilet, wipe where you shat.

Spell Check

I always use spell check on my blog and it seems I always spell the words I use the most wrong. You think after 50 blogs, I would be able to spell diarrhea, masturbate, and gonorrhea. But, apparently I don't. I would like to give a shout out to spell check for making those who can't spell even worse spellers. Somehow, you have cast a “spell” on us. Big Pun intended (I ain't a player I just crush a lot).

More Over Gold Bond

As you know I'm a big proponent of Gold Bond. I absolutely love it, but wait there's a new kid in town. If you thought Gold Bond was good, wait for this. My mom caught me itching away at the old nuts on a typical Sunday afternoon. So, being the mother she is, she bought me the “Tough Actin Tinactin” anti fungal jock itch spray. I feel like jock itch spray is a pre cursor to an std. It's like you don't want to admit you have something but you might, so you play it off like it's jock itch, ya know? It's quoted on the bottle saying, “cures most jock itch”. And I guess if doesn't cure your jock itch then you probably have an std (hmm that would explain all the itching). Here is how you apply this wonderful spray elixir. All you have to do, is shake this baby up, give it a couple of sprays on the all testies ,and your in the clear. Then, what you get is an instant long lasting cooling effect. Thank you “Tough Actin' Tinactin”!

Search Keywords (How people found my blog)

There is a feature on my blog on where you can tell how readers found my blog. Most of you receive this from Facebook, Twitter, or email. But sometimes randoms come across this blog on google by searching “key words”. Here are a few random searches on how people found my blog by typing in these phrases.

“sons who kiss their fathers on the lips”

“moist crum picture gooch”

“american dad the american wet dream”

“events in “boner olympics”

“wasn't swerving I was perving”

“what is the price for a bottle of roxx vodka”

“boner contest”

“how much poop” whole life

So, obviously there are some sickos out there. I'm not sure whose sicker: these creeps who are searching “moist crum picture gooch”, “sons who kiss their fathers on the lips”, and “events in boner olympics” or me the guy who writes about it? Seriously, who wants to see pictures of all that stuff? Oh yeah, “moist crum picture gooch” just turns me on......(sarcasm).

Pageviews by Countries

There is also a feature on where you can tell how many pageviews by country listed. Here is the list of countries and pageviews per country.

Russia 78 views

United Kingdom 53 views

Germany 19 views

Canada 17 views

India 15 views

Denmark 12 views

Brazil 10 views

Australia 8 views

France 8 views

I would like to thank Russia for viewing my blog the most (besides USA). I'm not sure who I know in Russia but thank you if your reading. I would like to thank the UK as well as being a close 2^nd. My biggest surprise on here is India. Thank you India. I will try to write more on Indian issues. Thanks again to all the readers. However, I'm upset that Africa, China, Japan, and Papa New Guinea weren't on this list. I'm coming for you Africa. This blog is international son!!!

Bloggy Smloggy 10 with 117 views.

Here is the link if you want to see why it was the most popular blog.

http://nudedudeadventures.blogspot.com/2011/03/bloggy-smloggy-10.html

Twos.....

Bloggy Smloggy 49

Intro/Muffin Top

I've noticed when I wear slim fitting jeans, I have a muffin top. It's not any ole muffin top, but it's a nice girthy muffin top. It actually made me feel like a self conscious white girl. It must be tough being a self conscious white girl because now I know how they feel. Now, I'm super self conscious when I sit a certain way because my stomach fat sticks way out. I blame the media, magazines, and the Barbie doll. I feel so inferior because the media makes me feel like my body isn't good enough. I'm going to make myself puke now, blahhhhhhhhh.

My New Click (Clique)

I'm starting a new band, club, and/or gang. Let me know if you want to be part of it. It's an elite club of hard heads with true grit. It's called the Rub Club, it's like the Navy Seals of jerking it. It's more like the Muslim Extremists of cranking it because we don't take no for an answer. We are an elitist group that uses military technique to jack off with passion. Let it be known, the Rub Club is here for the takeover!

BJ Rewards Card

Every successful business has a rewards card to keep the customer coming back; Best Buy, Qdoba, and Subway. They usually give you discounts after you have bought so many items. Well, I think there should be a Blow Job Rewards Card. For example, you get 9 BJ's and the 10^th one you get to blow it on her face.

Joystick

Have you ever played the game Joystick? Probably not, because it's a game I made up. Joystick is a game played with yourself. You don't need a ball, accessories, or any sports equipment. All you need is a hard on and a imagination. Sorry girls, this is a dude's only game. Joystick is where you use your boner as a “joystick”. You can play on the couch, in the car, or in your bedroom! It's simple ,grab your wiener and make sound effects. I've played car racing games with my boner! I've played Top Gun with my wiener! And I've even played war games with my penis! Your dick can be anything you want it to be. It can be a car shifter, a machine gun, or you can be a pilot fighter! Joystick is awesome and best of all, it's free!!!!

Fart Wars

This is when 2 people push “fart air” towards each other by farting. This game takes a lot of farting and exertion of the butthole. The competitor is deemed winner when their opponent covers his/her mouth or has to leave the room. Anyone want to play a game of Fart Wars then play Joystick?

Brain Train

When you and your buddies of (5 or more) are getting head from a girl. You are part of what we call a Brain Train. Let's just say you don't want to be the caboose of the Brain Train. Choo Choo!!!

Random Thoughts

-Dude is so ugly he had to pay for a rape.

-When I go down on a girl I spit, I don't swallow.

-Fred Durst aka Fred Wurst

-I have a small dick. My new nickname for myself is “4^th & inches”

-I want to punch the Arby's guy who sings, “It's good mood food!!!!”

-Chorizo in a tube that looks like cookie dough is not a good idea if your battling diarrhea like me.

The Hard Count

This is a classic football term in which the quarterback tries to make the defense jump offsides. However, in the real world, I like to use the hard count too. No, not to many people make me jump offsides. I used the hard count to decipher how many boners I get in a day. For example, “Hey, what's your hard count at?” It's at 16.”

Booze Control

When you drink at a steady pace all night long. For example, “I didn't get drunk last night. I just put er in Booze Control and I had a steady buzz all night long”.

Dr. Appointment

Everyone loves going to the Dr.'s office, right? Actually, everyone hates it. I'm talking about a different kind of “Dr.” appointment. It's actually a Dr. (Dome receiving) appointment. So, next time you say you got a dr. appt. (your actually referring to getting head). That's my new acronym for the week. Make sure you get checked up, visit your local Dr.

Skinny Farts

People who are skinny shouldn't fart with bass. It sounds funny. They should only be allowed to fart in a high pitch noise. Lets be real here folks. That goes with large people too. Your farts should only sound like dub bass. There is no reason your farts should be like “beep”. Let the skinny people fart with the beep and let the large people let out the bass lines.

Twos....

Bloggy Smloggy 48

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Bloggy Smloggy 47

Intro Smintro

Sorry, I didn't post last week.  I'm sure of all you were so displeased.  Did anyone notice? Probably not.  Did anyone care? Probably not.  Do I care? Probably not.  Sorry, I need to self loathe for awhile.  Self loathing is a good way to start a blog.

Lunchables

Who the hell eats Lunchables? Have you seen that crap! What the hell is in that? Do they have breakfestables or dinnerables? They should rename it untouchables. I'm pretty sure if they did rename it “untouchables”, people would still buy it. Ewwww, that's nastyyyy... More like diarehheables

Goin Up Up Up

You know how us guys talk about getting head. We always say, “Hey, did she go down on you?”. We love it when girls go 'down' on us. What if girls went 'up' on us? For example:

dude 1: Hey man, did that girl go down on you?

dude 2: No, she didn't go down on me. But she went up on me.

dude 1: huh, what do you mean she went up on you?

dude 2: oh... she kissed me.

I guess when a girl goes up on you, it's not as cool as when a girl goes down on you.

Big Ballin'

I'm in dire need of a ball reduction. This thought occurred to me on christmas day. Why would this occur to me on Christmas Day? Well, because I was watching sports all day on the couch. It was the first day of the NBA. So,I was watching games from 11am in the morning to 10pm at night. My testicles were mushed between my thighs all day long. I don't have normal 29 year old thighs either. I have what we call “thunder thighs”. So, with that being said, it hurts, because off all the friction and rubbing go on down there. I wish I could have a big bowl of gold bond on a night stand, so everyday when i wake up, i can just dip my fat balls in this bowl of heaven (gold bond). My massive thunderous meaty thighs were squishing my already big balls. Big and big don't go together, especially when its your gigantic nuts with your manatee looking thighs.

In the day of plastic surgery someone could say, "why don't you get a thigh reduction? Well, i like my meaty thighs and it's not going to change the fact that I have titanic testes. How about I just go for a ball reduction. If I get a nut reduction it's going to make my already small penis look bigger. Just as girls get boob reductions, I'll get ball reduction. I still don't understand why girls get chest takeaways?? Why would you take the thing I love the most from your precious chest and throw it away? I guess girls do have a point when they remove there gonzongos because it does hurt there back to lug those flappy tits around town. Maybe that's why I have an aching back. It must be my gigantic testicles.

I hope they have this surgery around, if not, I want some doctor to experiment with my nuts and make my balls smaller. If there are any doctors that will do this I am dedicating my body to science. If doctors are not willing to do this procedure, then f*ck it, I'm calling Rick Moranis. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, literally.

Good Ol Anne

Anne Frank. Good Ol Ann Frank. I developed a new slang term for Ann Frank. She is called Ann Stank. Ann Stank is when a girl farts but you can't find out which girl farted. It's like there hiding there fart from you. Plus, no girl wants to know you know she farted, she is going to Ann Stank that fart, in other words hide it.

My Wonderful Weekend

Christmas Eve Eve

December 23, 2011

There's always that point in a relationship when your in relationship that you have to meet the family. With that being said, it was my turn to meet the family. It was not as hard as I thought actually. I get pretty nervous and sometimes shy around people I don't know, but I guess we all are. So, we arrive at her sisters house and I was immediately offered a drink. They had Rum and Diet Coke. Alas, they had Captain Morgan's, I don't have to drink cheap rum anymore. Wow, this rum is delicious and name brand soda... get outta town.

So, we ate, watched people open presents, played dominoes, and drank. I probably had 8 Rum/Cokes. I was relapsing at a family function. I was feeling nice and buzzed and all my pre game jitters were down the hatchet. Towards the middle of the night, we started drinking Captain Morgan's special reserve. It was 100 proof, yet smooth and delectable.

So, at the end of the night, I was hugging family members, playing with the random kids there, and joking around with their grandmother. Overall, rum quenches social family awkwardness.

Christmas Night

December 25, 2011

Let's fast forward to Christmas Night, because Christmas Day (read above) was me complaining about my big balls. Since, we were inside all day long, we needed to get out. So, my brother, Earthy A, and I went off to the casino. It was the only place open. It was packed, the Christmas spirit was in the air as everyone was spending there christmas cash. I went with a measly $15 which came from scratch offs that I in my stocking stuffer. We ponied up to a black jack table as I tiredly watched everyone play. Then I made my move, I cashed in my $15 and in return I got 3 $5 chips. I had 3 chances to make big winnings, hence it was a $5 black jack table. Boom, I started hitting like crazy and before you know it, I was up $50. I decided to do the smart thing and cash out. There has been many times when I have been inebriated and have been up and lost my winnings. It was 3am when we arrived home.  Christmas had arrived and Christmas had gone.

Twos......

Bloggy Smloggy 46

Intro/Real Night Terrors

I woke up in the middle of the night to a nightmare.  Yet, it wasn't a nightmare in a dream, it was reality.  This was the worst night terror I've ever had.  The Attack of Night Diarrhea!!!!!!!!  Luckily, I woke up before I shat myself.  Because, sometimes, when your in and out of sleep, your not sure when your awake.  Thus, you forgot your awake and you think your in a dream and you poop your pants thinking your in a dream but your really awake.  Anyways, I could feel my stomach toss and turn. It was painful.  What was it, I thought?  Was it the salmon I had earlier that night?  Was it the fudge, sour patch kids, or holiday cookies I stuffed in my mouth?  I mean I haven't had "nighterriea" in awhile.  It's funny because earlier in the day I was talking to a friend of mine who was speaking of his diarrhea that he had the day before.  Maybe, he infected me, I didn't know diarrhea was contagious but now I think it is.  

So, i went to drop a liquid watery mess in the toilet.  Nothing and I mean nothing was solid.  Straight butt puke.  Then, I went back to bed, but my stomach was still twisting.  I wasn't finished and returned to the restroom for more pooey brown water.  I felt like I was at Noah's Ark but instead of all that fresh clean water they pump down the slides, this Noah's Ark (meaning my butt) was full of piss sh*t water.

On that note, have a good day.

Nude Dude -A Very Naked Christmas

Here are the song names to the Christmas album, you know you want to listen to these!!!!!

-BallsRHugeAh

-It's Beginning to look a lot like a jizfest

-Holy Tight

-Dumpster Baby

-Rudolph the White Nosed Reindeer

-All I want for Christmas is Poo

-Have Yourself a Bloody Merry Fistmas

Remember, you can download these classics at www.soundcloud.com/nudedude

Power Bracelets

I wonder if I put one of those power bracelets on while jerking it, will it make for a better experience? These bracelets are supposed to increase balance, stamina, and performance. So, it makes perfect sense. I want to go a step further. I wonder if they have these power bracelets for penis's. I think that would be awesome. Think about how much stamina you could have in bed? I'm going to customize power bracelets for the pee pee. Let me know if you want in.

Puppy Chow

I love Puppy Chow!!! I'm not talking about dog food, but the Puppy Chow you make from Chex Mix. It's the greatest and simplest desert out there. So, yummy!!! However, what if someone were to make Puppy Mill Chow, I feel like that wouldn't be too good. Yeah, Puppy Mill Chow wouldn't taste good.

Random Note

I found a note that I wrote to myself months ago. Here it reads, “playing scrabble my balls are stuck to my inner thigh. my grandma left”.

I'll leave it at that. Not sure what that was supposed to mean or why I had to remember that. But that is all.

My Wonderful Weekend

My First “Game Night”

December 17, 2011

      “Game Night”, that's when you know your are deep in a relationship. Gone are the late nights at the bars with your buddies. Gone are the late nights at the casino. Gone are the hangovers from taking too much shots the night before. “Game Night” is an evening where you and your friends get together play board games, have conversation, and snack on food items. Game Nights is usually synonymous with couples often pairing teams with their love interest against other couples. Then, it usually turns into the battle of the sexes with guys versus girls. Let's get into my first game night and see if it was a success.

I was apprehensive at first, meeting new couples and acting “adult” by having “adult” conversations. When I say “adult”, I mean, talking about your phone plan, what kind of car you drive, where do you work, what church do you go to, or where your registering for your baby shower. There were 3 couples there in total and 2 of the couples were pregnant. So, most of the conversation revolved around babies, baby accessories, and being pregnant. I could not relate, so I had to patiently listen to everyone talk about their placentas (not really though).

      I was the new guy, so I tried to “chum it up” with the fellas. They were discussing cars and engines, in which I just shot blanks. I drive a 98 Toyota Camry which gets me to A to B. They were discussing dual exhausts, V6 engines, and other car lingo. I felt emasculated, insecure, and self conscious because I don't know dick about cars. Oh well, I just nodded and drink my Guinness.

I felt like they out “manned” me by knowing about cars, while I out “manned” them by drinking good beer. I'm not known as a beer drinker but I've drinking many good beers. As you all know, I've been to 'Beer School' at my buddy Twat's house. He has many micro brews, so I know a little more than the average drinker. These guys stuck to their corporate beers such as Miller Lite and Coors. I felt macho by drinking Guinness and micro brews. At one point, one guy drank a Leinkugel Sunset Wheat. Whose the p*ssy now, b*tches?????

      The first game we played was Cranium. It's a game of knowledge and creativity. We played couples vs. couples for this game. It was the battle of couples to see who had good couple chemistry. My team won that game with ease. Beginners luck, I guess. It felt good winning, but at the same time, I didn't want to win because if your the new guy who wins, no one wants to invite you anymore because your the winner. Then, the next game we played was Taboo. Oh, how taboo that we played Taboo. We switched up teams and it was guys vs. girls. The guys dominated this game and we beat the women.               

       Another win for the new guy. It felt great. Before you know it was 11:30pm. We started game night at 6pm. Let's just say game night got out of hand. I look forward to more game nights in the future. Game night helped me work on my social skills, saved me from a hangover then next day, and made me more of a productive person the next day.  

Twosssss...........

Bloggy Smloggy 45

Intro

No need to read this blog. Please go to all the sites I've mentioned. We have a Nude Dude X Mas album, a Digital Cruster podcast, and a few articles. Get into multimedia. Multimedia is where it's at. This is just a quickie blog. Everyone loves a quickie. Get q'd up!

Nude Dude Christmas Songs!!!!!!!!

I made a Christmas album for all to enjoy. You can listen or download all the Christmas songs through this site http://soundcloud.com/nudedude. Please tell all your loved ones, so you and your family can enjoy these songs over a warm cup of hot cocoa.

Digital Cruster Presents: A Very Naked X Mas

Go to this link to download the newest podcast featuring myself and the “digital cruster” henze bomb. It includes all the x mas songs, holiday bits/skits, & much much more!!!!!!!

http://www.digitalcruster.libsyn.com/

My Brother and His Friends Blog About Stuff

http://lordblesshisheart.blogspot.com

Preparing Yourself for a Fish Fry

Fish Fry's are great but also very consuming. Everything that your eating is fried. Fried food for me, makes me bloated. French fries, cole slaw, rye bread, and 3 pieces of fried fish with tartar sauce will clot you up. Here are some tips for one of Wisconsin's most famous dinner meals. Good Luck!

Fish Fry Tips

1. Wear sweatpants. Sweatpants allow for a comfortable fish fry eating.
2. Take a couple of dumps to ensure you are hollow. I say a couple, because one dump is never enough.
3. Don't eat breakfast or lunch. Go on a empty stomach.

4. Workout after, get a couple reps in to shake off the weight. I like to use the stream room to sweat out the “friedness”.

I hope these help as we prepare our self for Lent.

How Many Boners Do you think a “Mall Santa” gets in a 8 hour shift?

My friend said 16. So, that's 2 boners per hour (bph). Would you pay money to let an old strange bearded man hold your baby or child knowing we live in the day of Sanduskys?

My Wonderful Weekend

Holiday Party at Hosed on Brady

December 9, 2011

Yes, the name of the bar is called Hosed on Brady. This bar is right by a fire station, so, hence the play on words. It was a formal holiday party, so I had to dress up. No, I didn't wear an ugly x mas sweater, I actually dressed up. I wore a sport coat, collard shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes. I dressed myself, yep all by myself. I was so proud of myself. Aaron and I had a few pre drinks to get things going. I'm on a strict budget, so we both brought flasks to the bar. I bring no cash and he brings $5 in cash. Oh yes, I forgot to mention he is wearing the exact same outfit as I am.

We arrive at Hosed on Brady, I love that name, I can't get enough of it. But, anyways, we go directly to the bar, and Aaron orders two cokes for us. I'm pretty sure, that it's not everyday, that two well dressed gentleman go into a bar and order 2 cokes (one diet and one regular). Then, immediately after we get our drinks we take turns going into the bathroom to mix them.  The bartender had to know we were slipping a little "sauce" in our cokes.

It's a fun time, I'm lightly buzzed throughout the whole night. There is a nice spread of dips, sweets, and holiday snacks. I gorge myself with nacho cheese dips, salsas, and cinnamon rolls. We eventually start a brownie fight with 3 other people. We start chucking brownies at each other. I feel bad now, knowing that someone went to a great trouble to make these homemade brownies. However, they made for a good food fight though. Thank you.

Overall, it was a chill night. Remember, get Hosed on Brady!!!

Conclusion

Support your local smut. MTV and VH1 are not cool anymore. Happy Holidays for those who are unpolitically incorrect!

Bloggy Smloggy 44

Intro/Poo Poo Go Down the Hole

Man should only poop once a day no matter what his diet is. I and along with my other friends rip 3-4 loads a day. I don't think this is healthy. I don't care how large your fiber intake is. I've come to the conclusion that I diversify my poop into a mini series. So, what I'm saying is, I have one large poop in me, and instead of ridding my body of all that waste in one go, I chop it up into a trilogy. It's not that I poop more than the next guy. I just do a little here and do a little there. It's like I'm spreading the seeds all around town. Maybe, I like pooping in different bathrooms and it's developing into a sickness. Man takes multiple dumps in multiple areas around town. Experience life and try new stalls. Just get out and live.

Pregos

I only date girls with kids now. So, if your single and don't have kids. Don't think about it. You are no longer an option. I will not date you. I will not court you. You are no longer a suitable potential partner in my life. Get some kids and then talk to me.

The Comeback Kid

Ahh... 'The Comeback Kid'. Everyone loves rooting for “the Comeback kid”. However, you never want to be “the comeonback kid”. No, wants to be that kid.

Stuff I Should I Twitter

I should think about becoming a family man. A 3 year old told his parents I would make a good husband.

Updating Old Sayings

We can no longer use the term, “dropping the kids off at the pool”. Literally, we just don't do this anymore. Most kids are with their parents at the pool nowadays. Obviously, this term is in reference to taking a dump, figuratively speaking. But I'm going to update this saying to, “dropping the baby off at the dumpster”. This seems more fitting in the sick world we live in today. So next time, your about to drop a fatty say, “im going to drop the babies off at the dumpster”.

My Wonderful Weekend

Chicago Bed & Breakfast

December 3, 2011

“The Night When Toxic D Struck”

    It started with a phone call, a phone call that would eventually leave me with bite marks on my body. I was offered to go to Chicago to visit a good buddy of mine (Dan). He had free tickets to see Adam Corolla. I debated for a day or 2 and finally decided to go. I don't see Dan too much, he works a lot, and is going to be a daddy soon.

    I went with my buddy Nik, he was supposed to come to my house at 1pm. It was 1:30pm and he was not here. Hmmm, he called me shortly, “He told me, his car won't start, can you drive?”. I moped for a bit and said, “yes”, then picked him up. I was not happy with the decision to drive and I made it very clear to him. We were a few miles into our trip, as we were on the freeway to Chicago that I tell him, “ I don't wanna drive, lets jump your car, and take it to the shop for a new battery”. He agrees kind of. I tell him, “look at my engine temperature gauge, it's on cold, what if my car stalls?” So, we go back to his house and jump his car with my cables. I'm nervous, he's nervous. We don't know a lot about cars but eventually get his car running. I feel like a man and it feels good. I do get scared when I take the cables off, as I feel like I'm going to get electrocuted. Then, its off to the auto parts store to buy and have them replace the battery. We don't replace the battery, luckily they do it for free. I refer to the man who installed our battery as an Asian Casey Jones (from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). We are finally on our way. It's 3:00pm (just 2 hours off the time we were supposed to leave at).

    We arrived at Dan's at around 5ish and gorge ourselves with meat. He buys pork brats, cheese brats, and gyro brats (brats with gyro meat in it). I down 3 brats (one of each) and use the tzatzski sauce on every brat I eat. We play NHL 94 for Sega Genesis for drinks. Ironically, I win the first 5 games but it's ironic because I never play video games and the guy I beat plays a few hours a week. The loser has to chug there drink if they lose, so Nik ended up pounding his drinks. However, I did not lose, so I slowly drank my beer. He finally beat me in NBA JAM, so I finally drank my beer and mixed drink.

Little did we know, all the while playing video games, “Toxic D” was secretly being created. I guess he had a few drinks before we arrived. Toxic D is Dan's alter ego when he drinks. He becomes an animal, a monster, a train wreck. Toxic D gets you to do shots and drink heavily. He also becomes a non functional human being who wants to wrestle everyone who his near him. Toxic D left me with a pretty severe bite mark. He also wrestled and bit Nik

    At this point in the night, it was almost 11pm and we wanted to see the Adam Corolla show. We had to dress Toxic D as he was unable to dress himself. So, we took off his Zubaz (yes he was wearing Zubaz pants) and put his jeans on. We dressed him like he was a baby, literally.

We finally made it to Adam Corolla, yet we saw the last 30 minutes of the show. I was not impressed. Maybe, I was still in shock of Toxic D that I couldn't enjoy myself. The show was over and we returned back to his house for some late night snacks. We ate left over Mexican food and cooked a Gino's east pizza. I then went into the guest room and locked myself in it so I wouldn't be bothered. Goodnight.....

    Nik woke me up at 8am saying we have to leave. He asked me if I knew where his wedding ring was. Apparently, I put on his wedding ring before we passed out and slept with it on. I remembered trying to get it off the night before but it was stuck. So, it took me about 15 minutes and Pam cooking spray to wiggle this thing off. I was finally free of the ring and our journey home began.

    I popped an adderol because I needed to focus on the ride back since I was driving. We were fired up to the tunes of Britney Spears. We listened to all her classics “Baby One More Time”, Crazy, & few other classics. Somehow the conversation turned to “which videos did you masturbate to when you were in high school”. This was before the free streaming porn, so we did what anyone else would do, rub'em out to music videos. We discussed which music videos we did it to like, Sisquo- The Thong Song, Britney Spears- I'm a Slave 4 U, & random Christina Aguilera videos. Somehow, an embarassed me under my breath mentioned Faith Evans. To be more precise it was Faith Evans- I Love You. Nik, probably embarrassed as well, agreed that he didn't the same thing to this video that I did. I wasn't the only one. I was happy to find out that there is someone else just like me.

Here is a link to the video. Enjoy as we did. I want the world to feel what I felt when I watched this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8vGGWn2AmE

Twos...