Intro/Real Night Terrors
I woke up in the middle of the night to a nightmare. Yet, it wasn't a nightmare in a dream, it was reality. This was the worst night terror I've ever had. The Attack of Night Diarrhea!!!!!!!! Luckily, I woke up before I shat myself. Because, sometimes, when your in and out of sleep, your not sure when your awake. Thus, you forgot your awake and you think your in a dream and you poop your pants thinking your in a dream but your really awake. Anyways, I could feel my stomach toss and turn. It was painful. What was it, I thought? Was it the salmon I had earlier that night? Was it the fudge, sour patch kids, or holiday cookies I stuffed in my mouth? I mean I haven't had "nighterriea" in awhile. It's funny because earlier in the day I was talking to a friend of mine who was speaking of his diarrhea that he had the day before. Maybe, he infected me, I didn't know diarrhea was contagious but now I think it is.
So, i went to drop a liquid watery mess in the toilet. Nothing and I mean nothing was solid. Straight butt puke. Then, I went back to bed, but my stomach was still twisting. I wasn't finished and returned to the restroom for more pooey brown water. I felt like I was at Noah's Ark but instead of all that fresh clean water they pump down the slides, this Noah's Ark (meaning my butt) was full of piss sh*t water.
On that note, have a good day.
Nude Dude -A Very Naked Christmas
Here are the song names to the Christmas album, you know you want to listen to these!!!!!
-BallsRHugeAh
-It's Beginning to look a lot like a jizfest
-Holy Tight
-Dumpster Baby
-Rudolph the White Nosed Reindeer
-All I want for Christmas is Poo
-Have Yourself a Bloody Merry Fistmas
Remember, you can download these classics at www.soundcloud.com/nudedude
Power Bracelets
I wonder if I put one of those power bracelets on while jerking it, will it make for a better experience? These bracelets are supposed to increase balance, stamina, and performance. So, it makes perfect sense. I want to go a step further. I wonder if they have these power bracelets for penis's. I think that would be awesome. Think about how much stamina you could have in bed? I'm going to customize power bracelets for the pee pee. Let me know if you want in.
Puppy Chow
I love Puppy Chow!!! I'm not talking about dog food, but the Puppy Chow you make from Chex Mix. It's the greatest and simplest desert out there. So, yummy!!! However, what if someone were to make Puppy Mill Chow, I feel like that wouldn't be too good. Yeah, Puppy Mill Chow wouldn't taste good.
Random Note
I found a note that I wrote to myself months ago. Here it reads, “playing scrabble my balls are stuck to my inner thigh. my grandma left”.
I'll leave it at that. Not sure what that was supposed to mean or why I had to remember that. But that is all.
My Wonderful Weekend
My First “Game Night”
December 17, 2011
“Game Night”, that's when you know your are deep in a relationship. Gone are the late nights at the bars with your buddies. Gone are the late nights at the casino. Gone are the hangovers from taking too much shots the night before. “Game Night” is an evening where you and your friends get together play board games, have conversation, and snack on food items. Game Nights is usually synonymous with couples often pairing teams with their love interest against other couples. Then, it usually turns into the battle of the sexes with guys versus girls. Let's get into my first game night and see if it was a success.
I was apprehensive at first, meeting new couples and acting “adult” by having “adult” conversations. When I say “adult”, I mean, talking about your phone plan, what kind of car you drive, where do you work, what church do you go to, or where your registering for your baby shower. There were 3 couples there in total and 2 of the couples were pregnant. So, most of the conversation revolved around babies, baby accessories, and being pregnant. I could not relate, so I had to patiently listen to everyone talk about their placentas (not really though).
I was the new guy, so I tried to “chum it up” with the fellas. They were discussing cars and engines, in which I just shot blanks. I drive a 98 Toyota Camry which gets me to A to B. They were discussing dual exhausts, V6 engines, and other car lingo. I felt emasculated, insecure, and self conscious because I don't know dick about cars. Oh well, I just nodded and drink my Guinness.
I felt like they out “manned” me by knowing about cars, while I out “manned” them by drinking good beer. I'm not known as a beer drinker but I've drinking many good beers. As you all know, I've been to 'Beer School' at my buddy Twat's house. He has many micro brews, so I know a little more than the average drinker. These guys stuck to their corporate beers such as Miller Lite and Coors. I felt macho by drinking Guinness and micro brews. At one point, one guy drank a Leinkugel Sunset Wheat. Whose the p*ssy now, b*tches?????
The first game we played was Cranium. It's a game of knowledge and creativity. We played couples vs. couples for this game. It was the battle of couples to see who had good couple chemistry. My team won that game with ease. Beginners luck, I guess. It felt good winning, but at the same time, I didn't want to win because if your the new guy who wins, no one wants to invite you anymore because your the winner. Then, the next game we played was Taboo. Oh, how taboo that we played Taboo. We switched up teams and it was guys vs. girls. The guys dominated this game and we beat the women.
Another win for the new guy. It felt great. Before you know it was 11:30pm. We started game night at 6pm. Let's just say game night got out of hand. I look forward to more game nights in the future. Game night helped me work on my social skills, saved me from a hangover then next day, and made me more of a productive person the next day.
Twosssss...........
