The First 2 Sentences
Well my blog is legal now, in that if my blog was a girl, you could legally do my blog. Enjoy, you wiener faces!!!
Ennie Meanie Minnie Ho
Who paved the way for teen sluts? Who started the teen slut craze? There has been a lot of debate in my head on who started the emergence of teen slutting. Here are some teen slut icons of our time, dating back to the 80s to the 2000s. It's a subject most writers don't want to approach, in that it's a very touchy subject that the cinematic world often glorifies in there movies. Here are some Actresses that have helped shape and mold High School Sluts in our society today.
Elizabeth Shue- She was opposite of a slut in Karate Kid. Yeah, she was rich and she dated Johnny from Cobra Kai Clan. But eventually she realized the good in Daniel La Russo. But that wasn't until Mr. Miyagi gave him that awesome car. So, in retrospect she is a gold digger not a slut because she didn't give it up to Danny. Good job Elizabeth!
Conclusion: Wholesome, not a ho, but a gold digger which is a attribute of a whore.
Lindsay Lohan- I never wanted to admit it, but d*mn't she's a slut. Just watch the movie Mean Girls. I mean its one of my favorite movies and all, but she was destined for sluttony. I talk about her way too much. She definitely gave new meaning to the teen romance genre.
Conclusion: Druggie, Slut, Drunk, Lesbo. All Ho qualities but I still love you.
Hillary Duff- She really shouldn't be considered in this genre. She has always been the good girl and always will. She was never the good girl turned bad. She is the good girl turned good again. Here's a list of movies during her teens that proves she is as innocent as a butterfly on a Sunday afternoon. The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Cheaper by the Dozen, A Cinderella Story and Cheaper by the Dozen 2. These are all family movies which I have all seen except the Lizzy McGuire Movie.
Conclusion: Your sweet and make family movies for all. She's a girl I could take home to mother. Teen Sluts envy her good girl image thus making high school hoes even more sluttier.
Amanda Bynes- She's on the bubble as teen slut. She got her start on Nickelodeon in shows such as All That and The Amanda Show. Then later went on to begin her movie career in What a Girl Wants and She's the Man. In She's the Man, she played a dude, so not slut like. She's as pure as honey from a jar from Winnie the Pooh.
Conclusion: Not a teen slut, a good role model. Another Keeper in my book. I would go half on a baby with her.
Olson Twins- They've been sluts since Full House. These hos been hoeing out since the invention of Hos. When In Rome, New York Minute, It Takes Two. Those movies were cover ups.
Conclusion: Dirty Rotten Ho Bags!! Your the reason why teen pregnancy and stds are at all time high!
Honorable Mentions:
Raven Symone- Not sure what her motives are, that's why she is a honorable mention. Thumbs Up Ho!
Alexis Bledel- She was a Gilmore Girl. She can suck it. I don't know who she is really.
Mandy Moore- Ehh she dece. She probably made one girl think twice about giving it up.
Selena Gomez- An up and comer. She might give Lindsay Lohan a run for her money for the slut title belt.
And the Winner Is........
Molly Ringwald- The Queen of them all. She was the original Teen Slut. She gave ginger girls hope that they would get laid in high school. She paved the way for the Lohan's, Duff's, and Olsen's. Without Ringwald none of you girls would be slutting in up in these coming to age movies. Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, and The Breakfast Club. This is where it began girls. Do your homework. She is the Godmother, the Saint, the Patron of Whores. Lets give her a standing ovulation I mean ovation.
Suckit List from our Faithful Readers
Well, last week I asked you guys to send me in your Suckit Lists. Why not? Suckit lists are way better than Buckit Lists.
Here is a Suckit List from “The Funny Knipfer”
10. Jasmine (from Aladdin - I agree )
9. Any of the Price is Right girls
8. Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit
7. Minka Kelly - for obvious reasons
6. April O'Neil
5. Mo from GUTS
4. The hot avatar from Avatar, but I'd rather connect tails than get head
3. Michelle Obama
2. Tapanga from Boy Meets World - not present day... back when she was in 4th grade
1. Helen Keller
Wow! This blows my Suckit List out of the water. I thought I was creepy and weird until I read this. A lot of cartoon characters, a 4th grader, and a blind/deaf person. I can't top that. Jessica Rabbit is my sleeper pick in that list. Thanks for the post.
Here is a Suckit List from Kelly
1 Michael Jackson - if he was still living because i bet hes got moves
2 My boss - just to say my boss sucked me
3 A random dirty homeless man on the subway- because he would probably go to town on me
4 Obama -do i even need to say more?
5 Brad Pitt- he is sexier then a bitch
6 Spiderman - the thought of a superhero is sexy
7 Hugh Hefner- he knows every tick in the book
8 Guy from kiss with the long tongue - that's right ;-P
9 The nice man who wax my bikini line - he was really nice down there if you know what i mean, & i would not my mind a little lick from him
10 & i would let you give it a try ;-)
Thank you Kelly for giving us a girl's perspective. I'm a little upset I'm #10 on the list but I'm pretty sure I don't give a good going down on. I agree with # 3, homeless people do give the best head. I'm sure they would be trying to find there next meal in your vag rather than pleasuring you though.
Something I Just Thought of
Viagra Falls. Kind of like Niagara Falls. It's a fantasy world of unlimited amounts of Viagra for senior citizens. A society in where rampant senior sexual activity takes place. A place where derelicts just bang, bang, and you guessed it, bang.
Hooters
What's up with waitresses at Hooters? I feel like that's there pre stage to working at a titty bar aka gentleman's club. Which I have no clue why it's called a gentleman's club? Maybe, it's to make the low life losers who go there feel like they belong to some sort of 'elite gentlemen club', when in actuality it's not a club, it's basically a basement where naked women strip. But, I feel like Hooters Chicks are like trying this whole objectify me thing with clothes on before they take the leap to full on degradation. Hooters chicks are like the classy chicks with low self esteem with minor to mild daddy issues. I mean there are some girls at Hooters I would like to see naked at a titty bar. Come on girls, start feeling bad for yourself, have a kid, pay off your college loans so you can support your drug addiction by stripping away your clothes and your dignity, just so I can wave a $1 bill at you (which is probably counterfeit knowing me).
I'm the Biggest Dummy Head in the World
I'm so stupid. I'm the biggest dummy head in the world. I manually used an electronic toothbrush. Half way through I realized how stupid I was, and flipped the switch so my toothbrush could brush my teeth for me. God, I'm such a Idiot. I'm a moron. I'm pile of donkey balls. I'm the dumbest human alive. I should be given a terminal illness. I should be buried alive. I can't believe I made such a goof ball move. When will I learn? I'm a Big Stupid Dummy Head to the 10th power.
How I Interpret Sayings
What's that saying, I think it goes, “Behind every good man there's a good woman.” I don't know if I believe in that. That would mean the woman would have a strap on dildo and be doing that man. I think the saying should be “In front of every good man there's a woman” then that would mean you would doing her doggy style. Pretty Simple.
Coming Soon... Me, Literally
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