Bloggy Smloggy 64

Intro

I'm European American.

Just because a hot dog is made from a turkey doesn't mean it's healthy.

My 1^st Garden

I have a garden. I'm a gardener. I officially hate chipmunk, bunnies, and other cute critters now. Being the gardener I am, I have developed “a deep true hatred” for these pesky little animals. They hang out in my garden and are eating my crops. It's an all out war. They vermin's don't know who they are messing with. It's on you b*tch @$$ rodents!!!!

Parents and their Kids

I like how parents (obviously with kids) make us feel bad for them. For example, they always stress that they have kids by saying, “well.... I have a 3 year old at home”, “try raising two teenage boys”, “i have three daughters that are 8, 9, 10 years of age”,“Ya think.. that's not a job” or “I'm a full time mother”. I know it's a tough job but am I really supposed to feel sorry for you. You never hear my mom saying, “I'm raising 3 adult boys right now. It's so stressful raising my two 29 year olds and one 26 year old man all by myself. They need so much attention. Have so much energy. They are always getting in trouble at work”. No no no...... so stop this mirth.

Cum Dollars

I saw this on top of a urinal while at the casino. It's a trick. It's a trap. Don't take the dollar! It's a cum dollar. What's a cum dollar you ask? A cum dollar is when a guy cums on money and puts the dollar on top of a urinal. So, being the cheap @$$ you are, you take it, thinking your a dollar richer. While of course your a dollar richer, you also got dude seamen on you. Don't take the cum dollar!!!! Unless, you want a dollar. Because you know a guy is in the stall watching and laughing at you.

Eye Boogers or Fly Jizz??

What kind of “night fly” is sh*tting in my eye? Or better yet.... what fly is cumming in my eye?? I wake up every morning with fly jizz in my eye. Normal people refer to this as eye boogers, I think not. I swear to god.....I'm getting fly money shots in the night while I sleep. Screw off Jizz Flies!

The Like Button

I dislike the like button option on facebook. I wish there was a dislike option on facebook. You know how many people would dislike comments. If you ever wrote a comment no one 'liked', I guess I would assume most people disliked it then. I don't like the like button for the very reason that when we talk in real conversations that most people don't say I “like” what you just said.

Halloween Costume Idea

Facebook- Put a book on my face or better yet put a face on my book.

Breakfest Boners

I wake up every day with a boner (commonly referred to as a morning wood). I like to call them “breakfest boners”. I wake up every morning thinking with my dick. Every guy notices when they have a boner and when they have a boner they think with it. They want to do something sexual, play with it, or put “it” in something. I don't wish these morning boners upon me. I don't want to start my day off with a boner but I do. Why can't I start my day off intellectually? Why can't I start my day with the will, motivation, or intuition to do something great? Why can't I get a “brain boner”? If I got those I would be a successful chap making moves in the business. I would be working downtown with a collard shirt, pleated khakis, dress socks, and business casual shoes on. Instead, I wear athletic shorts, a crusty tee shirt, and dirty shoes to work.

Dave Thomas Can Eat One

A new Wendy's opened up in Wauwatosa. You'd think they were handing out free $100 bills. There were so many people just getting there mushy processed food. The parking lot filled with cars. The drive thru just jam packed with minivans. Don't get me wrong, I don't judge, I just call'em how I see them. I mean I used to love Wendy's as a high school student and broke college kid. I used to see how many items from the 99 cents value menu I could eat. I would get fries, 2 double stacks, 5 piece nuggets, and the beloved frosty. That's just gross to think I even stomached that. Anyways, I don't do that anymore, I let the heathens eat that crap. It's funny because people think I'm gross because I talk about poop, boogers, and boners. Yet, these people are eating processed gross fast food that probably have boogers from the worker making it, feces from the cow it came from, and the high school kid making it probably has a boner, because he was checking out the girl in line with cleavage. With that being said, I talk about those things and you eat them. 

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