Sad Banana #5 "2013 Job Update"

Introduction

Here is a list of jobs I applied for in 2013 starting in July. No one said getting a job is easy. I'm not here to complain and whine about not getting a job. I'm just sharing the cold hard facts.

List of Jobs I applied for in 2013

1)Salvation Army Volunteer Recruiter

2)Walkers Point Teen Shelter Crisis Intervention Specialist

3)MPS Sports Recreation Coordinator

4)Food Brand Ambassador Promotions

5)Milwaukee Bucks Sales Associate

6)South Shore Ymca Wellness Attendant

7)Better Business Bureau Customer Representative

Help Me!

8)Interfaith Senior Services Volunteer Manager

9)Girl Scouts of American Volunteer Manager

10)Culligan Man Water Distributor

11)UWM Admissions Coordinator

12)Curative Care Coordinator

13)Packerland Rent-A-Mat Route Representative

14)Americorps College Assessment

15)United way Volunteer Coordinator

16)Lead 2 Change Advancement Coach

17)Veterans Job Coordinator

18)Sisters of Notre Dame Transportation Assistant

19)Edible Arrangements Delivery Driver

20)Wilde Toyota Sales/Product Specialist

21)Ups Delivery Driver.

22)Rocketship School Tutor.

23)Home Depot Customer Service Rep

24)West Suburban YMCA Wellness Attendant

25)Curative Care 1 on 1 Care

26)Brookfield Rehab Activity Assistant

27)Integrity Family Services Crisis Counselor

28)ATTC Urinalysis Collector.

29)Tool Parts Driver.

30)Lowes Delivery Driver.

31)Batteries Plus Sales Associate

32)Brew City Promotion Shipping & Receiving

33)QPS Driver Helper. 

34)Toyota Lube Technician

35)Goodwill Donation Attendant

36)Ups Seasonal Driver Helper - I got a Job!

My Life for 3 Months.

So there it is, the raw data. You can't fudge these numbers. This is real life. It took me 36 job applications to finally land a job. Not a full time job. Not a job with benefits. Not even a part time job. But a seasonal part time job that pays $12.88. After countless hours of job searches, writing cover letters, and submitting online applications I get a Seasonal Driver Helper Job at UPS. I'm someones helper. I run packages to houses. A middle school kid can do my job. A middle school kid could do a better job than me.  Apparently this is the only job I'm qualified for. I guess my college degree, management experience, and personable skills make me only qualified for a UPS SEASONAL DRIVER HELPER! I was the modern day Santa for a month. Actually, I wasn't even Santa (I didn't make the toys). I was Santa's little b*tch elf.

   

Self Explanatory.

As you can see I've applied to some god awful jobs. I mean I really set the standards low. It's not even comical anymore. I guess I couldn't cut it as a Batteries Sales Associate? Really? I don't have the aptitude to sell batteries? I guess I wasn't capable of working at Goodwill as their Donation Attendant. Wow? I'm in awe. My skill set most be non existent. I wasn't even good enough to deliver edible arrangements. Huh? What? I guess there is someone who is more qualified in remedial jobs than I am. That's a humbling experience. I feel really great about myself. I'm making a difference in the world. I feel like I'm really helping out society. I feel so good about my self esteem. Life can't get better than this folks. I've made it. All that hard work has really paid off. Sky is the limit.

Please laugh at my life. If you ever want to feel better about your life or job situation. Just read this over and over again and laugh at me. I beg you.. Laugh at My Life.