The Return of the 36th Bloggy Smloggy!!
My New Hobbies
Frolf
Frolf. I love to Frolf. Frisbee Golf. It's a great game, if you have a lot of time to just do nothing. I have been such an addict that I have gone 4 days in a row. I'm no frolf expert, I mean, I got my discs at Play it Again Sports. I have a driver and a mid range. I guess you can buy putters too, whatever its a disc, its not that different. I guess I have been going through this psuedo stoner phase of my life. I've grown a beard, I play frisbee golf and call it frolf, and I'm unemployed. Yeah man, Jerry Garcia. Grateful Dead. CCR!!! See! I'm a hippie. Poke Smot!!!!!!!
Fantasy Football
I love football, so much that it's my fantasy! No longer do I fantasize about chicks with big tits, tight labias, and college coeds. I fantasize about touchdowns, rushing yards, and field goals. This is what my life has become. Fantasizing about what player will get me the most points. I love Fantasy Football. It gives me a real chance at being a General Manager for a Pro Football Team. Every week I have to make tough decisions on who to start Jay Cutler or Eli Manning? Life shouldn't be so hard. I mean do I bench Reggie Wayne and start Brandon Lloyd?? What defense should I pick up? Who should be my kicker? What the hell, this is no longer a fantasy. This is life or death. I mean I don't want to be ostracized in my league for picking up Tim Tebow and dropping Alex Smith. Ugh, what turned into a simple fantasy has turned into a nightmare of decisions.
Me And Aaron Get Drunk Again
Brewers vs. Phillies
Saturday September 10
Pre Tailgating
Pre game at 3:30pm since the tailgate party started at 4:00pm. In essence, we pre tailgated before the tailgate. And by pre tailgating, I mean drinking Rum and Cokes in my living room. We each had two drinks before we made are way to the real tailgate.
Real Tailgate
The real tailgate was his work party (food and beverage was provided). This was a work function tailgate, in where the co workers brought their significant others and family members. Aaron decided to bring me, I was his “plus one”. It was a pretty tame tailgate, so I had to behave. I forgot to mention we were both “flasked up” for the game. We both had are own flasks to make the game a little more interesting. So, we enjoyed the tailgate as I went “ham” on the free food (polish sausages and chicken burgers).
Brewers Game
I was full at this time, but as you all know, when you go into the stadium, you want stadium food. Stadium food is just plain ole food. No thrills, it's merely just a notch up from the grade school cafeteria you use to eat at it your formative years. But when your hammered, this food seems to be the best food on Earth. I mean do you see the people making your food. It's usually a church group trying to raise money for their church or organization. So, your footlong dog is always on the fence when it comes to taste. So, with that being said, we decided to bring in our own food. I decided to bring in 3 polish sausages from the work tailgate party. We wrapped them up in a bun bag because unfortunately we could not find any aluminum foil.
Oh well, we ended up getting into the game around the 6 inning. Which,is ok with me. Who can really handle watching 9 innings of baseball? So, I decide to get the $6 souvenir cup which is probably a liter of Pepsi. I dump out half the soda and pour my flask in. My flask can hold about 8 ounces, so I just made 4 doubles or 8 smalls according to industry standards. I have an 8 drink drink in my hand. Let the games begin. Aaron does the same thing, were rummed up.
We eventually found our seats by all of his co workers. It's fun watching your buddy make a fool of himself in front of his boss and co workers. Its fun because it wasn't me, now I know why people want me to do stupid stuff because it's entertaining to watch. At this point, were hungry, so why not eat the Polish Sausages we brought in. The trick to this is, you go to the hot dog condiment station and pile the sausage high with sauerkraut, onions, mustard, and secret sauce. Who cares if the sausage was cold, it was so delish.
We decide to walk to a different section because were getting fidgy just sitting in one spot. Aaron tries to bargain with the ice cream man to get free ice cream. Aaron tells the ice cream man who is a high school kid, that they give free ice cream after the 7th inning. We plead our case but he does not buy it. We continue to walk around trying to find are new seats, all the while trying to entertain ourself. I have this great idea to take our last polish sausage and throw it in this large ceiling fan. I get Aaron to launch this sausage in the fan. The sausage ends up hitting the fan and boom hits a kid in the face. Luckily, it ends up hitting one of his co worker's son. I'm glad it didn't hit some roided out brewer fan because we would've been easily demolished.
We finally find some seats in the right field bleachers and watch the rest of the game. The Brewers lose. I know, insert sad face here. We leave the game and Aaron with his gift of gab, makes friends with this middle aged lady. This lady pulls out 2 miller high lifes and a mike's hard cranberry lemonade. Aaron had a choice to pick a miller high or mike's hard, he went with the latter. I can't blame him, Mike's hard is good. I got a Miller Life which I would later give to the saxophone guy who plays outside at the end of every Brewer game. He always plays the Simpsons for me.
Pit Stop at My Place
We eventually get back to my place and Aaron is all riled up. He wants to wrestle, so we take our shirts off and wrestle in the front yard like buffoons. He chucked his Mike Hard's Lemonade at me which was not cool. We ended up wrestling for 5 minutes then realized how tired we were and stopped and became friends again.
Flannery's
We go to Flannery's and enjoy a couple of drinks and then later take a taxi back to my house. But we had the taxi drop off us 3 blocks away from my house. We didn't want to pay the extra quarter mile which is 75 cents. We paid the guy, I mean Aaron paid the taxi driver, and we started walking back. We saw a car coming our way, so we decided to give the ole hitch hike a try. The guy stopped surprisingly and said, “where you headed?”. We replied, “just down the street”. He said, “hop in”. So, we hopped in and discussed our night in a timely fashion (as it was only a 2 block ride). We thanked him for the ride and he was on his way. We had this great idea to try to induce vomiting. So, we both start putting our fingers down our mouths to try to vomit. I'm unsuccessful, as I dry heave multiple times. This concluded the night as the puke did not happen. Maybe it was symbolic of the night. Maybe I wasn't that drunk that I couldn't induce vomiting.
Conclusion (the next morning)
A pink penis straw on my bedroom floor. I think we stole it from some girl from a bachelorette party at the bar. I believe we were sucking it, in front of them. That's just hearsay though.
A bottle of Rum and plastic vinyl gloves in our front lawn. My roommate asked us, “what happened last night? There is an empty bottle of rum and a pair of examination gloves on the front lawn.” Good question. What did happen.
Enjoy your week... And remember do something I would do.
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