Bloggy Smloggy 37

Intro

College. What a great age to explore and define your existence in the world. Where time management, budgeting your money, and enjoying your personal freedom all work with you and against you. College, the next step in prepping yourself for the “real world”. College, the time you have probably acted the dumbest and have done some of the most regretful things in life. For example, experimenting with drugs, having sex with no condoms, and drinking heavily. It's the time we have our “best memories” and ironically the time we have had our most “regretful memories”. 

 I would like to take stroll down memory lane for this next blog in which I go into the inner depths of the college party scene. No, I didn't go to a college basement party. However, I went to the mecca of college bars where basically underagers are glorified for coming. Well, not exactly glorified, but almost accepted as a patron. I'm talking about the bar, Judges. 

 Judges has been known as a “underager bar” for decades. It seems, as if you are over 21, the bouncers give you a quizzical look like “your really here?”. I mean Judges, might as well be in someones basement party on the eastside. It smells and looks like one, plus the drink specials are just as cheap as one. I mean for Christ sake, its $5 to get in on Thursday night, and they have 25 cents taps, 50 cents rails, and $1 dollar bomb shots. I mean this deal screams binge drinking college freshman and sophomores. Well, this is the place we decided to take our little buddy DJ for his birthday. He turned 21, so already, he is too old for Judges. But it's a rite of passage to go to this bar when your underage. So, let the festivities begin as we delve into the night.

My Wonderful Weekend

College Night (DJ turns 21)

Thursday September 15, 2011

   Well, like I said it was a $5 cover which included (25 cents taps, 50 cent rail drinks, & $1 bomb shots). With that in mind, my plan was to order 4 beers at at time and tip a dollar. Which worked like a charm. Yes, I did tip this time, because I felt bad that all the underagers and poor college kids don't understand tipping or are too poor. I looked like a God to the bartenders, everytime I tipped a dollar. They must've thought I was rich or something. I probably tipped $5 that night, could be $6 I don't remember. Seriously, there were students with quarters in there hand buying drinks. I've never and I mean never have brought quarters to a bar, I have a little more dignity than that. But, who can blame a poor college kid for living off ramen noodles and getting drunk on quarters. I can't. 

   So, I'm challenging DJ (the 21 year old) to chug contests throughout the night. I lose every single one, I mean I can challenge people to chug contests but will I win, nope. Since, it was DJ's birthday, his new cousin in law decided that he can drink for free on his tab. So, of course with my cheapness, I would put expensive drinks on his tab. Aka the expensive drinks being the $1 jeager bomb shots. So, I'm feeling pretty good right now after 8 beers and probably 4 shots. It's hilarious because you can tell who the underagers from the regulars. The underager girls dress up with nice mini skirts and high heels. It's like come on!!! Your at a sinkhole dive bar. Get real!! Not that I minded though.

   At one point in the night, being the insecure old guy I was at this bar. I told some people I was 24 years old and that I'm a senior. I told her I had internship and was a History major. I don't think the story matched up because I was saying i don't have class but I do. Therefore, next time I go, I'm going to tell everyone I'm 29 years old. I'm just going to tell the truth because the truth always comes out.

   Since, I was drinking beer (which I never do), I felt in control of my “drunk” for once. Also, I for once wasn't pre- gaming which is a first. Usually, I like “to get it in” before “I go out”.

I couldn't believe how cheap these kids were. I felt rich amongst the college kids who were leaning over the bar waving there quarters in front of the bar. I was like P. Diddy in a rap video “I thought I told you that we won't stop, I thought I told you that we won't stop, ehh ehh ehh!!!”

I eventually parted ties with the group I was with. They wanted to go to Victors for free pizza. I told them the last time I went there a prostitute stole my wallet. No thank you, It's not worth the cardboard Tombstone Pizza they serve there. Sidebar. Why the hell do people eat Tombstone Pizza? It's named after death. Naming things after death, the afterlife, or a grave site does not get my appetite going. This is where I say, “jus saying”. Sidebar. Another cliché quote I hate hearing. Anyways, I'm off topic ranting about pizza.  Where was I? Oh yea, the crew I was with was going to Victors and I hate cardboard pizza.

    Since they left, I was flying solo and decided to hitchhike my way home. Why not? I have a pretty good track record of getting home safely. So, I'm on north and I get in a car with 3 large African American women. They get me to Oakland Gyros, which is a 6 block jaunt, probably 20 minute walk that I don't want to do. So, I get out at the gyros joint and chill out for a couple minutes until my brother picks me up. Why not wait for my brother to pick me up from Judges in the first place? I don't know, bygones are bygones. So, I had a successful “college night”, wolfed down 25cents taps, did shots, and went to a late night eatery. Maybe its time to think about my Masters degree.

Rock the Roost and Getting Hammed Up With Aaron & His French Friend

Saturday September 17, 2011

Saturday Afternoon

  Well all know what happens with Aaron (the smaller compacted drunk version of myself, yet very successful). We go to “Rock the Roost”, a wing and beer sample fest near Silk (strip club) and on the ground of Harley Davidson motorcycle shop. It was a small event, around a few hundred people at a time. However, we did enjoy cocktail tasting, local bands, and a very large beer bong. This beer bong had at least 25 plastic tubes connected to what looked like a large plumbing pipe. I ended up doing this beer bong twice with other inexperienced patrons who didn't realize how to do a beer bong. Granted everyone was over 25 and long over there college days (but in retrospect, it didn't look like most of these people went to college).

  We sampled many different wings for about the 2 hour stay we were there. I even got to sit on a motorcycle and go “vroom vroom”. We didn't get drunk here because we had a big night ahead of us. We had to show his buddy, Lance, a good time in Milwaukee, as he is traveling the USA for the next 2 years. I like Lance a lot, get it, like Sir Lance A Lot. But, he rented the coolest minivan for his traveling in the US of A. It had a back up camera, satellite radio, and back windows went down, which is really weird for a minivan.  Lance, is a good guy, he sexes many woman's.

Saturday Evening

   Let's get to the evenings activities which didn't last long. We pre gamed by playing Screw the Dealer or High or Low. This is a fun little card game that anyone can play. It's a nice way to get the juices going. Me and Aaron strapped up with are usual Rum/Cokes and Lance drank Belvedere Vodka and Redbull. A bottle later, we would hop into my buddy's car and make are voyage downtown. We arrived to Dicks (pizza and pleasure) for a little pleasure, no pizza. My stay here was short, as I left on my own will as I wanted to bar hop. Aka, I was nicely escorted by a friend/colleague of mine who is the GM there. He roughed me up in the back alley and slapped me up a couple of times, saying “your done here, your washed up, take your business to Judges!!!” Aka, I tried kissing and hugging him as he gently let me out the back door. I thought this place was Dicks, so with that being said, I thought I could dance with my shirt off. It wasn't gay night, d@mn't wrong night. 

   So I continued my travels to Flannery's, which is staple for me and Aaron. Lance stayed behind and enjoyed Dicks and the bottle service they had.  I wasn't able to enjoy the bottle service we got which i paid $20 for.  Well, it was the greatest $20 drink i had since i only had one.  Anyways, I was go off subject and rant. I found my place on the dance floor of Flannery's and never looked back. I didn't even make it to the bar. I know Aaron came with me from what he told me but I didn't realize he was there. He said i was peeing all over the bathroom floor.  I have this pee fetish in where i pee all over the bar bathrooms.  I think it goes back to grade school in where we used to pee all over the bathroom floors as a joke.  I guess I never grew out of it.  Eventually, I made my way back home. Kaputz, I was passed out.

See you guys later..  Check out the new sitcom 2 Broke Girls with Kat Dennings.  She has some big ole tig o's.  Don't Holla, Scream!!!!!!