Intro
I wish I had something cool to write for my 50th blog but I don't. Same old sh*t. Just me blahing away.
If ain't broke don't fix it, right? I like how I talk my blog down before you even get read it. Note to self: that's not a good marketing technique if you want people to read your blog. If turds, testicles, and tits bring the readers then keep typing away.
Wipe Transportation
Have you ever pooped in a bathroom and all the toilet paper was out? Of course you have. Then, you have to waddle to the closet for more tp. But, in my case, I had to go to the other bathroom, because at the place I was pooping at, I didn't know where the back up tp was (but I knew where the other bathroom was). So, I flushed the toilet at the first bathroom I was at and made way to the next bathroom. I slightly pulled my pants up and hoped that no dingle berries would fall out. It was a quick dash to the next bathroom as it was on the same floor . I just had to go through one room to get to the other bathroom. I was the only one home, so it didn't matter if my pants were half way down my ankles. I made it the other bathroom, took a seat, and wiped my butt like I was just dropping a deuce there. Yet, I felt like I was cheating on the first toilet, because I dumped my load in it, and then left for the other toilet for the wipe. Don't cheat on your toilet, wipe where you shat.
Spell Check
I always use spell check on my blog and it seems I always spell the words I use the most wrong. You think after 50 blogs, I would be able to spell diarrhea, masturbate, and gonorrhea. But, apparently I don't. I would like to give a shout out to spell check for making those who can't spell even worse spellers. Somehow, you have cast a “spell” on us. Big Pun intended (I ain't a player I just crush a lot).
More Over Gold Bond
As you know I'm a big proponent of Gold Bond. I absolutely love it, but wait there's a new kid in town. If you thought Gold Bond was good, wait for this. My mom caught me itching away at the old nuts on a typical Sunday afternoon. So, being the mother she is, she bought me the “Tough Actin Tinactin” anti fungal jock itch spray. I feel like jock itch spray is a pre cursor to an std. It's like you don't want to admit you have something but you might, so you play it off like it's jock itch, ya know? It's quoted on the bottle saying, “cures most jock itch”. And I guess if doesn't cure your jock itch then you probably have an std (hmm that would explain all the itching). Here is how you apply this wonderful spray elixir. All you have to do, is shake this baby up, give it a couple of sprays on the all testies ,and your in the clear. Then, what you get is an instant long lasting cooling effect. Thank you “Tough Actin' Tinactin”!
Search Keywords (How people found my blog)
There is a feature on my blog on where you can tell how readers found my blog. Most of you receive this from Facebook, Twitter, or email. But sometimes randoms come across this blog on google by searching “key words”. Here are a few random searches on how people found my blog by typing in these phrases.
“sons who kiss their fathers on the lips”
“moist crum picture gooch”
“american dad the american wet dream”
“events in “boner olympics”
“wasn't swerving I was perving”
“what is the price for a bottle of roxx vodka”
“boner contest”
“how much poop” whole life
So, obviously there are some sickos out there. I'm not sure whose sicker: these creeps who are searching “moist crum picture gooch”, “sons who kiss their fathers on the lips”, and “events in boner olympics” or me the guy who writes about it? Seriously, who wants to see pictures of all that stuff? Oh yeah, “moist crum picture gooch” just turns me on......(sarcasm).
Pageviews by Countries
There is also a feature on where you can tell how many pageviews by country listed. Here is the list of countries and pageviews per country.
Russia 78 views
United Kingdom 53 views
Germany 19 views
Canada 17 views
India 15 views
Denmark 12 views
Brazil 10 views
Australia 8 views
France 8 views
I would like to thank Russia for viewing my blog the most (besides USA). I'm not sure who I know in Russia but thank you if your reading. I would like to thank the UK as well as being a close 2nd. My biggest surprise on here is India. Thank you India. I will try to write more on Indian issues. Thanks again to all the readers. However, I'm upset that Africa, China, Japan, and Papa New Guinea weren't on this list. I'm coming for you Africa. This blog is international son!!!
Bloggy Smloggy 10 with 117 views.
Here is the link if you want to see why it was the most popular blog.
Twos.....
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