Bloggy Smloggy 58

Holler at this blog....

I'm Mad and McDonalds is to Blame

I'm bitter. I must've woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe... I should wake up on the other side of the bed. Maybe.. I'll start the day off right then. I was very angry at the cars in front of me turning into McDonald's. I started wishing death upon them. “Yeah, turn into McDonalds. I hope you die from eating a cheeseburger. I hope you all die from eating that crap” in very sinister like voice that was as loud a whisper. Real pissed off people don't yell (they whisper there dark thoughts). Not that I really care what people put into their bodies. But it was just sickening watching all these people scurry into McDonald's to get there “feed” or “mush” like a bunch of cattle. If you eat at McDonald's, I'm going to call you cattle. Because that's what you do. You graze the land like cows and then stuff your f*cking mouths with sh*t.

I pass tons of McDonald's a day and see the same results. People just swerving there way into the drive thru. People by the masses just flocking to get their happy meal. There's nothing happy about that meal. You get a few fries, a squishy burger, and small soda. Oh yeah, you get a toy that is made from a cheap plastic mold. I wonder what would happen if I took a bazooka and threw grenades and destroyed half of the McDonald's out there. There would be an outrage, riot, chaos, I tell you. I have no respect if you eat this crap (that's not saying a lot because I don't have respect for myself).

Also, if you eat at McDonald's, stop complaining that the burger you buy for $1 doesn't look like the commercial. You get what you f*cking pay for! You want a good burger, go to the store, buy one, and learn how to make one you talentless f*ck! People always complain that this doesn't look like it on the commercial. Well, maybe it's because they have Corky from Life Goes On making your burger. Do you think the high school kids who work there give a f*ck about your Big Mac?

I think employees there try to make the sh*ttiest food out there to see if you (the consumer) will still come and buy it. The joke is on you! How many times have you got soggy fries, the pickle on top of your cheeseburger, or a shake that looks like someone took a sh*t in it? Probably 90% of the time. Yet, you still go there like the f*cking cattle you are. Cattle doesn't give a sh*t what there snack wrap looks like, as long as it's good. Go f*ck yourself. Actually, go f*ck yourself on a mound of Big Macs and 49 cents cones. F*ck that 49 cent cone! Go buy some milk and freeze it!

Entreprenuer Move of the Week

I'm probably the worst salesman out there. But I'll never turn down the chance to make a quick buck. It started when I went disc golfing a few weeks back with no discs. So, I scoured the course looking for discs and happily found 6 discs. Hmmm... cha ching!!! I could turn these discs into profits! And I did! I went to the local Play it Again Sports to make a deal. I brought 4 discs in and he offered me $2 a piece. Bada bing bada bo. I just made $8 while you read this article. Get at me. I make deals. Now, I have $8 to go drinking with.

Poop Water

I just made a revelation, we drink the water we poop in. Theoretically, the toilet water that you defecate in, is the same water you will eventually drink.

I Need To Get A Life

I spent an hour looking for a Hall & Oates cover band to play at my wedding and I'm not engaged (and I don't know if I even play to get married). There only a few Hall & Oates cover bands out there but I think “The Maneaters” from Atlanta, Georgia will do just fine.

Stuff I Should I Tweet

I want a tandem bicycle and ride it by myself. If that doesn't scream despair, loneliness, or loser then I don't know what does.

I was at a bar for an NCAA tournament match. I ordered 2 waters and tipped the bar tender $1. You know your ballin' when you tip $1 for free water.

Don't go to a Dinner and Bring these (Yet bring them to a Potluck, Going Away Party, Retirement Party, or Tailgate)

Store Bought Shrimp Circle w/ Cocktail Sauce in the middle

Store Bought 7 Layer Taco Dip

Store Bought Cookies

Store Bought Cheese & Sausage Tray

Food I wish I Ate Still (College Food)...

Pizza Rolls, Mozzorella Sticks, Ramen Noodles, Spaghett0's, Canned Ravoli, Frozen Burritos, Fish Sticks, Taquitos, Bagel Bites, Hamburger Helper, Rice A Roni, Hot Pockets, Lean Pockets, TGIF Spinach & Artichoke Dip, Jalopeno Poppers.

Those were the F'in days. Pop it in the microwave and you got yourself a meal.