Here is a compilation of fun events I have had in the last month.
Aaron
and I go see the 5 Card Studs at Brewskis
March
31, 2012
If
you don't know who the 5 Card Studs are, I suggest you get to know
them. Their website is http://fivecardstuds.com/.
You will experience classic 70s movin' n groovin' songs. This band
is a classic must see for the young, middle aged, and old. If you
like a smooth vocals with chest hair galore come see these dudes.
There
were 2 for 1 deals at Brewskis from 8-10pm. So, it worked out
perfect. I stuck to beer which I haven't done in awhile. As you
know I like my Rum and Cokes. I don't like mixed drinks at bars, too
much soda (75% soda/25% booze), you know. Maybe, that's how your
supposed to make mixed drinks (not like how I make them though). So,
I went with Lakefront IPA. A nice girthy taste to it. I
don't like those watered down beers like Miller Lite (no offense
Milwaukee). After 8 Lakefront IPAs, I had a nice controlled buzz
throughout the night. I'm pretty sure we met the whole band. These
guys were good guys, we kept requesting Hall & Oates. I guess we
were in the wrong era for a “lounge band”. However, that didn't
stop us from requesting Hall & Oates all night. I'm not sure if
we annoyed the band or not. I'm pretty sure we did, but they did a
good disguising their annoyance with us. Maybe... just maybe... they
liked us. Hmmm... that could be a possibility???
It
was one of the band mates birthday, so a lady/fan/groupie made him
cupcakes. She offered us one cupcake. After that I kept going back
to their table and ended up eating 4 cupcakes that night. One random
lady offered us her fish bowl. So, we drank that sugar filled drink.
Note to self don't buy or accept fish bowls from anyone (unless you
like kool aid).
I
guess I had bad breath that night because my buddy called me out.
So, I asked about 10 different groups of people for a stick of gum,
mint, or mouthwash. Nobody had gum or mints. I thought that was the
craze. I even told the people “hey my breath stinks, do you have a
mint?” I finally got a piece from the bartender, however it was
cinnamon, so it didn't work that well.
It
was bar time so me and Aaron walk back. He sneaks the fish bowl out
for some reason. Whatever... we walk back to his house and
deliberate if we are going to the casino. It's either he drives
drunk to the casino or order pizza. I say casino but then back out
saying I want pizza. Good choice. So, we are drunk talking to the
Papa John's employee about what pizza we want. We finally order a
sausage pizza and wings then pass out. He gets a call at 2:45am.
It's the pizza guy. We wake up and eat the pizza and wings then pass
out again.
Milwaukee
Brewers “Opening
Day” Tailgating
Friday
April 6th, 2012
It
has been said that “opening day” to me is like Christmas to
others. Meaning, I get so happy with joy like a kid would on his/her
first Christmas. As the productive person I am, I always set goals
for myself. It doesn't matter what they are, as long as you have
goals in life.My goal for opening day was to do 10 beer bongs and eat
5 brats. My plan was to keep a tally on my arm with a green marker.
My list started to grow to jello shots and homemade skittles shots.
Here is my final tally of shots, brats, and beer bongs.
Arm
Tally
Brats:
2 (but the mustard on my jeans says I ate 3)
Beer
Bongs: 12 (although witnesses said I did 13)
Jello
Shots: 4
Skittles
Shots: 5
So,
as you can see, I surpassed my goal of 10 beer bongs but I didn't hit
my quota for brats. I did do bonus jello and skittles shots as well.
-Jumped
into a dumpster for no reason other than it was a dumpster. I did
this last year as well. This is now officially a tradition. I just
need a clever back story to diving in a dumpster now. It'll go like
this “Legend has it that Naked Guy first jumped into the Dumpster
in 2011 to “throw away” old Brewer memories and ward off any evil
spirits that the Milwaukee Brewers might have. In doing so, the
Brewers won their first division title since 1982 and went to the 2nd
round of the playoffs. Now, he has made it tradition. In his 2nd
official dumpster dive “he hopes for a World Series in 2012” Go
Brewers!!!
-Saw
a dead cat.
-Met
a chiropractor (don't remember how) who cracked my back and two of my
friends. He said this was usually $40 a pop. At one point he had my
friend on the ground in a very awkward position. I gave him beer in
exchange.
Milwaukee
Bucks vs. Oklahoma Thunder
Monday
April 9, 2012
Had
a few hits from the “garden of weeden” and the game seemed like
it was in slow motion. Our seats were in the middle of a Fatherhood
non profit group smelling like that “good good”.
Broke
my phone because my slim straight jeans were too tight. I just got
my phone 5 days ago, signed a 2 year contract, and declined
insurance. Went to a pizza place and ordered bread sticks, a slice
of pizza, and Italian hot beef sandwich.
My
First Cubs Game
Tuesday
April 10, 2012
Pre
gamed with my classic beverage Rum and Coke. I'm sick of Rum and
Cokes, so I'm going to start making Bahama Mammas. I had a couple
of these at my buddy Alan's apartment. While pre gaming I developed
a new alter ego, Bare Wolf. Bare Wolf is a naked and
somewhat domesticated werewolf. All I did was put on a werewolf
mask and strip to my clothes, and thus the Great Bare Wolf was
born! Bare Wolf took a dump at Alan's house, he also greeted
Alan's friend when he came to door. Bare Wolf was on the
floor on all fours awaiting him howling like the werewolf he was.
Then,
it was off to Wrigley via taxi, yet I was not without my mixed drink
and flask. I fancied a Sunkist orange soda as my “road soda”.
As we were in the taxi, I further stated “my what a great orange
soda I am drinking” (in fact it was a rum/coke).
We arrived at our
first bar, had a couple of beers, I bought a round of 50 cent tacos,
and then it was off to Wrigley. I forgot to mention that it was 30
degrees out. We made a super huge mixed drink at Wrigley and left
when it was gone. We stayed for 6 innings as we could not bare the
cold. We bar hopped throughout the night, mind you it was a Tuesday, yet it felt like a Friday in Milwaukee. There were $2 specials all
night all over town. We were drinking Old Milwaukee, Pabst, Old
Style, and all the other great American Lagers that night. I tried
sneaking a Pabst into a bar and got kicked out because that
particular bar didn't serve Pabst cans. Who tries to sneak in a
cheap beer at a bar that has $2 beers anyway?
So, we went to another
late night bar. At this bar, these random girls immediately asked us
for drugs. We thought they were cops. I found out they were
sisters, one was from Chicago and one was from Hawaii. The one from
Hawaii was in her 40s looking for drugs, on vacation, and a
“swinger”. Oh yeah... she was a Professor at Hawaii University.
At this point, it was around 2am, we needed some eats. So, we went
to Clark's (think George Webbs) a 24 hour eatery. We got $30 worth of
food, however there card machine was down and the ATM was down. We
had no cash but $5, so my brother gives him the $5. One of my
brother's friends runs out and get in his car and jets off as he is
running out without paying. I follow him because I don't want to get
caught either. He speeds off without my brother and Alan the guy I'm staying with. We are 6 blocks away and I get out at an
intersection and sprint back to Clark's to meet up with them because I don't know where Alan lives. They
are nowhere in sight and I have no cell phone because I left it in
Milwaukee. I'm lost and walk back to think where Alan lives. It's
been 10 minutes and I'm thinking I might have to sleep outside. But,
wait... I hear screaming.. people screaming my name. I run to them
and I find them. They told me they took a taxi home and were at
their house, then realized I wasn't there. So, they went out walking
the blocks screaming my name. I was home, they were home, and we all
made it back. Oh yeah, the Cubs lost that night.
Twos.............
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