Bloggy Smloggy 61

Intro

It's May!!! As you can tell, I haven't sent this blog to you on facebook.  I want to see how many people really read this without me sending it via a facebook message.  So, if my view views are low then I'm going to start spamming you with my crap again.  What a great segway!!! The next bit is what I get in my Junk Mail in my Yahoo account.

Junk Mail or Not???

Here's what was in my junk mail for Monday April 16, 2012 read.

From                                        Subject                                                              My Response

Beautiful Local Women           Love plus affection just a click away                 Just that easy???

Cute N HornyGirl                    Hey Babe Are you Around                               No! I'm not around.

BeachBitch27                           Lets Chat                                                        No, sounds like your mean

MALE ENHANCEMENT      Enlarge your manhood 2-4inches                     Now were talking....

Cum4me28                               where were you                                               Sorry, I must've forgotten.

What if this wasn't really junk mail but real email? What if Cute N HornyGirl wants to know if I'm around? What if she is a nice sweet girl and I'm missing out on a lifetime of love and care? You know??? What if BeachBitch27 is not really a bitch, she could be the girl next door, but just has had a bad life? What if Male ENHANCEMENT really wants my “manhood” to be 2-4 inches longer, because he is right, I don't have much of a manhood. I mean Cum4me28 could be the girl of my dreams and her email just accidentally got thrown into my junk mail?

I'm Not Going to Lie...

I like when people start off with that saying “I'm not going to lie”, like every other time they are lying. For example, “I'm not going to lie but I thought you were dead”. That's hard and hurtful to hear that. Or “I'm not going to lie but I sure missed you”. I'm going to start saying “I'm going to lie”, for example, “I'm going to lie... because I sure missed you”. “I'm going to lie.. I hate the new Hunger Games, that new Justin Bieber Song, and My Little Pony's”. “I'm going to lie... I'm Straight!”

Fun Five

A cute way of saying you masturbate. It's a fun five!

Professor X Fart

A fart you that you shouldn't squeeze out but you concentrate so hard with your mind that it hurts. If anyone is a fan of X Men, they know how Professor X can read people's mind. Although, when he does this, sometimes he faints and his head hurts. The same thing happens when you push out a fart that you shouldn't. You concentrate so hard that your strain your brain but the ending result is just a blip on the radar. Professor X farts are overrated.

Goosebumps

I love the book series Goosebumps. It's between Goosebumps and the Boxcar Children as the greatest kid book ever. But I'm talking about a different Goosebumps. Goosebumps is when someone farts and it sounds like a “creepy door sound effect” or “screeeeeeeeeccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. It's that classic part in Goosebumps when they don't know someone is at the door, it opens, and goes “screeccccccchhhhhhh”. I like farts that sound like Goosebumps. Those are my favorite farts.

People are Nouns

A noun is a person, place, or thing. People are nouns. Call people nouns. It sounds degrading.

Random Moments at Sunday Dinner

-My mom hit me so I told on her. Me: “Mom...... Mom hit me.”

-“I have a flacid boner”

-“Grandma you have skin from the 1920s”- As I petted her skin.

Fart Fest

I held a fart fest with myself. No one else entered, so I won. I brought the fart title back to titletown where it belongs. I hold the Fart Title Belt at my household. I challenge anyone to a Fart Fest. Categories include smelliest, longest, and loudest.

Twossss...........