Kobe Who! LeBron Weak! Jordan Weak! Ya'll Busters! JK hoes! I'm talking about Craig Ehlo, Pat Garrity, and Marty Conlon
Remember When...
I was in a R & B group in 5th grade called “Brothas 4 Life”. We were 4 white kids at a parochial suburban catholic private school. We did a cover of “We R the World”. My line was “starving children with there rib cages pushing in”. My buddy Zach, the lead singer, made me practice every recess that one line. I pretty sure I nailed it down, hence I still remember my line. We actually had a performance in front of Sister Dorothy's class. Yes, we had a nun for a teacher who also taught us sex ed. One time she made us write in our notebook. “I have a penis”. So, we all giggled and wrote “I have a penis”. But we did a Boyz 2 Men song in front of the class. I forgot what song it was but man... we were destined for greatness in 5th grade. A year later, two of my classmates called me a wigger. I started crying in the class room right then and there. I don't like that word and I've never used it. Well, that has been an installment of Remember When......
I almost... I almost.... got caught
I almost got caught masturbating before I went to work. My roommate was home because he had the day off. I was on my beat seat while my hand was in heavy rotation. I heard something nudge at the door. I was wondering why my roommate was trying to get in. So, I quickly ran to the door half naked. The door opened as soon as I got there. It was my roommate's frickin dog. I had my underwear in my hands to play it off as if I was changing. I told the dog to go away because obviously I didn't finish. I nervously retreated back to my beat seat and started to get things in motion. About a couple minutes later, the same thing happens again and the dog tries to come in. WTF dog? Can't you see I'm busy! This is no time to try to come in, unless you want to be comed on. I already have a c rag but I'm not going to c on you. Unless you want to be disrespected.
Babyface
I must look like a boy still. A couple days ago in the morning, as I was getting ready for work, a man had rung the door bell. I was reluctant to answer i,t since no one rings our doorbell, and if someone does it's usually someone asking for something. I answered it, my calculations were right, this man was looking for money. But this guy's age radar was off because after sizing me up he said, “Hi is your mom or dad home?” I went with it and said “no they are not home” in a soft mannered voice. He then gave me a quarter sheet of paper saying he was from a church looking for money. I was belated that this man thought I was an adolescent of some sort. My youthful looks save me again. By the way im 29.
Advertisement Really Works
There is this electronic billboard off the freeway for a radio station that always advertises its music that the radio station is currently playing. It plays all the classics from the 80s to the 90s to contemporary. Usually it says, now playing Eagles, Bon Jovi, or Rick Springfield turn to 94.5 WKTI. As I was driving by this particular time, it said "Now Playing Chumbawamba". I immediately turned the dial to 94.5 and started jamming to Chumba frickin wamba. What billboard would waste their time to advertise Chumbawomba? And what idiot would turn it on to Chumbawamba? I..guess... me. Either my taste in music sucks or I'm really lacking entertainment in my life?
My Wonderful Weekend
Beer Fest, North Ave Summer Solstice Fest & Polish Fest
Saturday June 18th, 2011
Beer Fest 1pm-5pm
I went to beer fest with my married couple friends, a buddy, and my mom. We got tickets on Groupon for $65 for entrance in the beer fest (unlimited sampling of food & beer), a magazine subscription to Draft, a free summerfest ticket, and a 1 year membership to the Wisconsin Brewers Guild. I mean that is a deal folks. My mom actually snuck in the Beer Fest. Basically walked through the gates , given a wristband and free souvenir glass. I really couldn't get drunk at this event because I ate so much food (hot dog, shrimp crab cake, pretzel & cheese, pizza). I must've sampled over 30 different beers. Overall, it was a fun time.
My buddy's House 5pm-6pm
We played video games, ate nerds, and drank vodka redbulls which we later snuck into North Ave Summer Solstice Fest.
North Ave Summer Solstice 6pm-8pm
We just walked up and down this block party. Nothing crazy here. Just sipped on my redbull vodka the whole time while I was there. I wasn't satisfied with the night.
Back to my Buddy's House
Drank Monster Vodka drinks and played more video games. Did a couple of shots. Then went to the greatest fest in the world.
Polish Fest 9:30pm-??
Cans ??:??pm- 2:00am
Went to Cans and bought 3 $2 beers. I think the beer name was Boxer. Hey, at this point of the night. I didn't care what I was drinking.
Overall, this was a great day. I don't want to even count the amount of alcohol that was in my system that day. It was about micro brews and vodka. The only money I spent (besides the ticket to beer fest) was on a box of nerds, monster energy drink, and 3 $2 beers at Cans.
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