Intro
I thought I would get sentimental. Here's me being sentimental. A lot of people think I'm about farts and boners. But naked guy has a heart too. I'm sensitive as well. Here's my take on love part 1. Look for more love advice in upcoming blogs.
What Love Is
People never ask me what love is about but I'll tell you what I think love is. You know how you can tell if you really love a girl. That is if you can talk to her for more than 1 hour on the phone without getting annoyed. Like the conversation feels like 15 minutes but its been hours. That's love folks. That's love...
Dingle Berries Revisted
My underwear is getting browner and browner. I don't think that shower trick is working to get dingle berry free anymore. Read Bloggy Smloggy 11, the article about the spread eagle, then you'll know what I'm talking about. There's got to better way to excavate those dingle berries. I need to make some kind of rake or plow, to ride those god awful berries. I think, I've found a solution. It involves a sponge, a sham wow, and Brillo pad. Any of those objects would work. You just need to get in there and floss away, just as if you were flossing your teeth. You need to violently wipe though, none of those light baby swipe wipes. I'm talking about a a good "Paul Bunyan Man Wipe". Get up in there and wreak havoc!
Yeah, I'm Thick
Sometimes, I look in the mirror, and just stare at my big butt and think, “man I would hit that”. Seriously, I got dumps. I got a thick back side. It's so juicy and scrumptious. I mean I would “hit me”. Every time I look at my butt, I would tell my friends, “yeah I hit that”. They would give me high fives and say, “yeah you sure hit that, I wish I could hit that”. Man its a curse and a blessing, this big thick dunk of mine. Get at me, you ain't thicker than me!!! I'll skip on a ho that thinks they thicker than me. We can have a thick contest. Shoot, like my brother once said, “your thicker than 90% of girls in milwaukee”. I'm taking that to the grave. You can write it on my tombstone. Here lies the thickest white dude. I'm snapping right now. Don't hate on my thick booty of mine. Ya'll Hatin... Stop Hating Haters!
Hating on my Hate
You ever hate on a friend, like they deserved to be hated on, and then in turn someone else hated on your hate thus becoming a hater. Ain't that some ish. I mean I hate, but in the kindest kind of way. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, I'll just point out one of your flaws to make my self feel better. I dislike something but not hate something, so call me a dis liker. “Man, your a disliker” “Why you always disliking?” Hate means to feel intense or passionate dislike for someone. That's what the dictionary says. Man if you hate, you got some issues. Don't hate on my hate! Don't detest my detesting! Don't despise my despising! Don't loathe my loathing! You heard! Recognize haters, don't hate on my hate.
Pa Pa
I posted a facebook update saying “Can't wait for Polish Fest. There I will find my Polish Father”. After 2 minutes someone liked that comment. I'm glad someone liked that the fact that I have estranged father that quickly.
My Wonderful Weekend
Fish Fry/Podcast, BBQ, & A Taste of Chicago
June 24-26th, 2011
Fish Fry/Podcast Friday June 24th
Went to the Italian Community Center for an all you can eat fish fry. I didn't realize fish frys could be Italian. I thought it was going to be spaghetto's with fish sticks (insert lame Italian joke here). I also didn't know you can get baked fish at fish frys now. Wouldn't that be a fish bake instead of a fish fry? The fish fry was decent as I ate 2 plates of fish. I went back to my buddy's to drink 2 Canadian Beers and do a podcast. Check out the website at www.digitalcruster.com or download it on Itunes. Search Digital Cruster. It's episode 10. It's free hoes!After the podcast, I retired to my bed. It was a early night.
DJ BBQ Party Saturday June 25th
Went to a Family BBQ in good Ole Waukesha of one of the biggest House Dj's that Milwaukee has ever seen. House music filled the air with live DjingRumChata and another sweet liquor. Later, the host of the party, who was well in his 50s, said “she'll suck the gum off your zipper”. I can imagine she would, but I didn't want to find out. The host of the party also discussed how he put his grandaugther in a full nelson and slammed her in the counter top because she was lipping off to her mother. This guy was tough. Real Tough. He talked about fighting a lot and how he could wrestle his marine son to the ground. I stayed away from him for the rest of the day.
It was a long day so I went home built a bonfire, which apparently you can't do with sticks and shrubs from water logged trees. I don't know, I'm from the city, I'm a city boy. I was trying to get sticks and wood from a nearby ravine and look like a man. Boy, did that really backfire.
A Taste of Chicago Sunday June 26th
Went to Chicago to visit my brother and we went to A Taste of Chicago. A Taste of Chicago is week event in which you buy food tickets and sample all the restaurants Chicago has to offer in a festival like setting. Here is rundown of food we sampled. Jerk Chicken, Curry Goat, Chicken Shiskabob, Perogies, Sausage & Italian Meat Sandwich, Samosa, Brazilian Meat. I tasted every continent in my mouth. After that we walked around Chicago and then 4 hours later we went to a BBQ joint to eat dinner. Like, I didn't have enough food to eat.
Flick a Dick
I did invent a game while in Chicago called Flick A Dick. While we were talking the “El” or city train as I like to call it. I would flick my brother's dick in a packed train car. I told him it's a new game called Flick a Dick. We played this game for a short while. I no longer like this game and no longer play it.
Free yourself of materialism and get naked! Twos...
No comments:
Post a Comment