Bloggy Smloggy 32

Intro

I'm always injuring myself.  You ask, now what did you do to yourself?  Well, I threw out my back.  You ask, how did I do that?  I don't know, I got drunk.  It's been a struggle living like the hunchback of notre dame.  I feel like a minion, like that dude igor, who goes "yes master.... yes master....."  Oh well, you only live once right?  I know that saying doesn't really go with this but hey it works for me.

Wearing the Pants

Attention All Ladies!!! If you are reading this, let this be known, I'll let you wear the pants in a relationship. Here, here is my pants, you can wear them. I'm pretty indecisive, as well as a pee on, non confrontational, soft spoken, and a pushover. I will be your obedient little troll. I'm such a pu$$y! You can walk all over me. I'm the labia, the minor and major. I'm the clitoris, the lips, the innards, that's how much of a a pu$$y I am. So, ladies if your looking for some pants, I'll let you wear them because I'm Nude Dude and Nude Dude's don't wear pants.

Give and Take

This say relationships are based on give and take. Yeah as in, “I give it to her and she takes it”.

2 in the Pink 1 in the Stink Phrases

Here are some phrases me and my bro did in a car ride about 5 years ago. Oh yeah, my mom was present the whole time we made these up.

Here's the list sickos.....

2 in the slot, 1 in the pot                               2 in the valley, 1 in the back alley

2 in the clit, 1 in the slit                                   2 in the maker, 1 in the taker

2 in the gush, 1 in this bush                             2 in the goop, 1 in the poop

2 in the gak, 1 in the crack                              2 in the noose, 1 in the goose

2 in the pinkie, 1 in the stinkie                         2 in the middle, 1 in the sh*thole

2 in the hole, 1 in the bowl                              2 in the flow, 1 in where she goes 

2 in the soggy, 1 in the doggy                         2 in the blood, 1 in the mud

2 in the pocket, 1 in the socket                        2 in the red, 1 in the shed

2 in the beaver, 1 in the receiver                      2 in the trap, 1 in the crap

2 in the nann, 1 in the can                                2 in the snapper, 1 in the crapper

2 in the snatch, 1 in the hatch                           2 in the clam, 1 in the dam 

2 in the giney, 1 in the hiney                            2 in the cooter, 1 in the shooter

2 in the pouch, 1 in the ouch                            2 in the pisser, 1 in the kisser

2 in the sludge, 1 in the fudge                          2 in the coo cah, 1 in the oh ah

I Get Angry About.....

Men who text

What the hell is wrong with you? Grow some balls and call me, you jabroni! It irks me to think that a grown man can't talk on the phone. Imagine how funny grown men look while they text. Just picture it. It looks douchy.

Boys who eat ringpops

First of all, you are wearing a ring like your some married little fruit. Then secondly you lick and suck the thing like a penis. I guess I can't hate I like ring pops. Cheery is my favorite!

People who lick there ice cream

What's up with that? Why do you lick it? Bite into the ice cream. Enjoy it. Chew it. Don't be a derelict. You know how to eat ice cream. Observe these ice cream lickers. These people get all into the lick. They get all in it. They lick it like a big elephant dong. It's like in porn, pre money shot, right before there getting the load. Don't lick, lickers! Consume.

My Wonderful Weekend

Hi Hat/Garage

Friday August 12, 2011

I kept things PG this night because I had to work the next day. It was a co worker's birthday, so we gathered at Hi Hat/Garage on Brady Street for some beverages. They have a daily deal there called mystery beers for $1 in which they give you a random crappy beer in a brown bag. I love mystery beers because of the great value and of course the horrible selection of beer! I enjoyed 3 mystery beers over the course of the night. I started off the night hot with an Old English, then I scored big with a Blatz. I traded for the Blatz because I ended up with a Milwaukee Best. I hate Milwaukee's Best when it's not light. These beers were all unexpired which was great, which usually isn't the case. The score of the night was when my buddy got a Hamms. Hamm's is a beer I've actually purchased in my beer purchasing days as a college coed (that is before I found Rum). A low key night if you will.

Podcast Recording (Digital Cruster Episode 13)

Saturday August 13, 2011

HenzeItunes and download Digital Cruster Episode 13 you will find out what we did, talked about, and how much self deprecation we have.. Do it... Do it.... Do it....