Bloggy Smloggy 42 (Happy Turkey Day)

Intro/Happy Thanksgiving

What does Thanksgiving mean to you? Thanksgiving is a holiday that most spend time with their loved ones. Thanksgiving is a way for us to give thanks and show gratitude to one another. Thanksgiving for humans is a hallmark moment, filled with love, laughter, & good times. But for turkeys, its a massacre and genocide. While as humans we are enjoying family time over a dead bird, ironically we are sabotaging turkey families everywhere. How you can you sleep at night, when you know you eating a dead turkey who can be someone's turkey mom, turkey sister, or turkey brother. You sickos!! If we have any more thanksgivings, were going to wipe out the turkey race. There are going to be no more turkeys left! Then what??? Thanksgiving as we know it, will be over because we ate all the turkeys!!!! Think of how many you turkeys you have eaten in your lifetime. YOU GODD@MN TURKEY KILLER!!!!

Good Ol Sayings

I like that old fashioned saying, “Behind every man there's a good woman”. Actually, I hate that saying. What's that woman doing behind that man? Does she have a strap on on? Is she giving it to me him? Does this guy have a fetish with his woman behind him getting drilled with a plastic dildo? This is a very valid statement.

Right Hand

The infamous right hand. It's the most acceptable form of greeting one another in a formal and informal setting. It's also a way of saying goodbye. The right hand also is used for eating, writing, playing sports, giving high fives, and doing chores. This is the good side of your right hand. But your right hand also has a dark side. It's the hand you wipe with, masturbate with, pick your butt with, shave your pubes with, and pick your boogers with. This hand does so much good in society but it's also the hand that does so much creepy stuff. Good Meets Evil. This is the hand of bacteria. This is the hand that creates disease, sickness, and epidemics. I'm sure someone can make a post apocalyptic movie called, “THE HAND”, about how one hand started and killed the human race. Be careful, “THE HAND” is going to shake you.

5 Year Anniversary

I had my 5 year anniversary at my work. I give them my all (blood, sweat, and tears). I've gone above and beyond. I've given them 110%. I feel like I did a lot of for this typical company. I'm not going to tell you what company it is, but a certain music group did a certain song for them. That's all I'm going to tell you. What did I get for all the hard work I gave them? I get a special pre typed note from our CEO. I feel very appreciated (can you sense my sarcasm). Where is the box of chocolates, gift certificate, or t shirt???? You know???

Purple Bird Crap

What's up with all the purple bird crap that's plagued this city? It's all over my car, the sidewalks, building, and etc. What the hell are these birds eating? Did they get into a patch of infected grapes? Did a whole bunch of birds rob a pie store and then gorged themselves full of mixed berry pies and started crapping senseless? There's purple sh*t everywhere! These birds are mid air dumping. It looks like a pack of gushers melted on my car windshield. I also don't like how birds can crap during flight. They shouldn't have that privilege.

My Wonderful Weekend

Pizza, Wings, & Beer at Twat's House

Saturday November 19, 2011

My friend Twat is an avid beer collector and consiour. He has a basement with well over 100 different types of micro brews, imports, and limited edition beers. He also makes his own home brew. It's amazing to see and taste all the different beer he has. Whenever we try his beer, we like to call it Beer School, because it's like getting a 'crash course' in Beer 101. I've been to many 'Beer Schools' at his house. Most of the beers are very high in alcohol percentage ranging from 8% to 20%. With that being sad, it didn't take me long to have a buzz. I must've sampled 4-6 beers which was equivalentt to drinking 20 miller lites (since miller lites are low in alcohol). These micro beers had me buzzing.

Later in the night, his buddy from Illinois came and brought over a new concoction that I got familiar with. It was modelo (mexican lager) with Bacardi limon. It actually makes a good mix. Instead of putting a lime in the modelo, why not just say, “f it” , and put in Bacardi limon. This probably lead to me vomiting and passing out at around 11pm.

I arrived at Twats at around 6pm. I enjoyed the korean BBQ wings and dry rub wings. Also, the homemade chicago deep dish pizza was killer as well. I think I ate half the pizza. (This paragraph belonged in the beginning).

Beer School was a success. I think I will continue my studies at Beer School.

Outro

Have a splendid Skanksgiving. Give thanks to all the skanks

I mean have a great Cranksgiving. Show some gratitude to your hand.

Have a great Franksgiving and eat some hot dogs.

I had to end with some idiocracy.

Twos......