Bloggy Smloggy 43

Intro/Dad Kissing

I don't know what made me think of this, but sons who kiss their fathers on the lips are weird. I don't care what age you are. You don't kiss your dad on your lips even if you love him. Maybe, it's because I don't have a relationship with my father that I don't understand. So, I'm asking you, spoiled adult sons who talk to their fathers. Do you makeout with your dad? Do you kiss your father on the lips or the cheek? I guess kissing on the cheek is ok. I don't know “kissing your dad” etiquette.

Baby Bi Bi Bi

In high school, I once stated to a friend in the hallway between classes, “being bisexual is the best of both worlds”. You can take that statement and say I'm Bi (which I'm not). I was merely saying that being bisexual, you have a lot more options than a person who likes one gender. A Bisexual person can be taking a stroll down the street and everyone they pass would be a potential partner. I envy the Bisexuals they have billions upon billions of possible relationships at their helm. While us heteros, are limited to one gender ,thus the pool of potential partners decrease significantly. And that is the Bisexual Therom my friends.

It's Not a Small World

“Wow what a small world it is?” “It's a small world” “It truly is a small world”. Actually, it isn't. People who say this, stop saying it! The world population is near 7 billion people. Does 7 billion people sound like a small number of people? I don't think so. The world is increasing as we speak and trends show by 2083 there will be 10 billion people. I hate when people are in awe when you know other people. It can be as simple as, “wow this guy socializes and knows other people, he isn't living in a bubble”. It's like they can't fathom that someone they know knows another person, you know? There are surprised that you actually have friends.

Flushing Too Early Revisited

I'm revisiting the courtesy flush. The courtesy flush is an outdated practice. It's also a fallacy. Courtesy flushes inhibit your ability to get a full stool out. Think about it, by flushing in the middle of a dump, your sending a signal to your cerebral cortex, that your the done. But in reality, you are not done, you are halfway through the process. So, your only dumping 50% of your excrement. Sorry folks, when I poop, I want to poop a 100% of my poop. F it, I want to poop 110% of my poop if that's possible. I go all out, I don't pussyfoot around. Skip courtesy flushes, save some water and go green.

Cooking Up Turkey, Ya Turkey

I made the Turkey, no big deal. It's tradition that I cook the turkey each year. I actually used champagne to cook with the turkey. I got that muthf*cka drunk b*tches!!!! I turned that turkey into a drunk white girl. You know I stuffed that muthaf*cka too. I stuffed that turkey good. I just jammed all sorts of sh*t up its @$$. In the end, that bird was so moist when I was done with it. So juicy and succulent, that meat just fell off the bones. I love moist bird, when its so moist and moisty.

Thanksgiving Night

Watch you know about the oh betsy. I had little oh betsy, if you don't know what that is, then you don't know what it is. Google it. Went to a DJ show at the Rave starring Steve Aoki. I feel like I can DJ after seeing that show. All you have to do is make a 60 minute mix, press play, stand behind the turntable, and act like your doing stuff. Then the beat drops, run around the stage, and everyone throws their hands in the air like “they don't really care”. I mean half your crowd is on ecstasy, so obviously they are going to enjoy it, regardless of what you play. You can play a one note bass line and people will go crazy because their pumped full of drugs. As long as your household name DJ, you can go up there with a cowbell and hit that for awhile. I didn't feel like I could dance that night, maybe it was the oh betsy. I felt like I was doing everyday motions like running in place, putting away the dishes, or stocking the shelves at local grocer. I felt real limp wristed puppet.

I saw a old co worker of mine who worked at Noodles & Co. His name is Noodle Jason. He is in young 20s and is full of youthful energy. He asked me if I wanted to do shots and said “come lets go do shots, you buy.. you buy.. I have no money... but lets do shots”. Usually, the person who asks you to do shots will buy but not Noodle Jason. Where will I see Noodle Jason next?

The night didn't end there as we went to the casino. Was the casino a good idea? Of course it was, it was Thanksgiving night. Why not give thanks or thank the art of giving by giving money to the casino? We all ended up losing money. I forgot to mention I was Earthy A and Sleepy P. So, we retired to our house and had leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, and other fix ins.

Morning Wood

moisties. I bet women do wake up with morning moisties. Why wouldn't they? They are just like men. They have raging hormones

Twos...........