My Life Unemployed #11

Intro 

Oh what the hey... I'm getting desperate.  I applied to be a Girl Scout (not literally).  I should just become a girl scout though.  It's probably more lucrative than what I'm doing now.  I'd slang some girl scouts cookies.  I think that's sexist though.  Why don't the boy scouts make girl scout cookies?  Meaning.. why don't boys have boy scout cookies?  Does society think that boys can't bake and girls should be Betty Crocker?  Well, that's partly right but not at all.  My brother is a chef although he is a man.  Maybe... I'll invent Man Scout Cookies instead of Boy Scout Cookies.

Job Applied For

Girls Scouts of America- Volunteer Development Manager

Here is the actual cover letter I wrote to be the Girl Scouts of America's Volunteer Development Manager.

Cover Letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter to show my interest in beginning my career at the Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast as the Volunteer Development Manager. I currently, and have worked in the non profit sector for 7 years at various organizations. I have worked in different neighborhoods in the Milwaukee area with a diverse group of children and parents.

I believe my past experiences at the YMCA and Boys & Girls Clubs have been very rewarding, and I would like to continue in making an impact through the Girl Scouts as the Volunteer Development Manager. As the YMCA Teen & Sports Manager and Play in the Parks Coordinator, I've coordinated all aspects of volunteering to on boarding, recruiting, and training volunteers. At the Boys & Girls Clubs of Milwaukee as the Sport, Fitness, & Recreation Coordinator, I have worked directly with motivating at risk youth from ages 4-18 in education, fitness, and a healthy lifestyle. These past experiences have given me a greater knowledge of working with a diverse group of children and in volunteerism.

In addition to my past experiences, I can offer your company a team player with a great work ethic, a positive attitude that creates an enjoyable working atmosphere, and passion for helping those who need help most.

My personal skills demonstrate what I have done in the past and can do in the future for you. I would like to schedule an interview at your convenience, so that we might discuss this matter further. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to meeting with you.

Sincerely,

**** *******

Analysis of Applying for this Job

I'm not sure if this is creepy or okay. We are “supposedly” living in a politically correct world yet I felt very vile and disgusted as I clicked the send button when I applied for this job. I don't know if I felt weird because of me or if society has made me feel this way? I wonder if any dudes work here or if it's all chicks? Anyways, the only reason I applied for this job is because I'm hoping for a life time supply of girl scout cookies. Man.... those are good! F*ck it!.... just give me a discount. I'd sell discount girl scout cookies on the down low. “Gimmie some caramel delites, thin mints... I'll eat all them cookies up. Man I'll eat some girl scout cookies fo sho!” Actually, I read the food labels on girl scout cookies. Geez.... those cookies are horrible! They are laced with food additives, preservatives, and sugar. Girl Scouts of America? More like Fat Girl Scouts of America. The only thing these girls are scouting for are for some more cookies.  You fat f*cks with your  Godd*mn cookies! What the f*ck does selling these cookies teach these girls? It teaches them to be drug dealers. It teaches them to be drug kingpins by selling sh*t that's addictive as f*ck but is no good for the community. F*ck the girl scouts and there f*cking cookies!

Have a nice day.