What a Jerk
This Guy Was
A True Short Story
What I thought would be a routine trip to the grocery one morning
turned into witnessing a tragic moment that may change my life
forever. I'm a proponent some say an advocate of pooping in public
restrooms. I have no qualms about it and never had a problem. You
build your toilet paper nest and take a seat and go to town. Or if
your a girl you can hover as if you were a bird flying over a pond
dropping turds from the sky. I immediately go to the bathroom
because I need my morning movement for the day. I start my day off
right by dropping the deuce. I realize I'm doing it backwards. I
should defecate after I go grocery shopping because now I'm going to
have fecal matter all over my food products. I know that I can wash
my hands after I poop but I was just literally wiping my @ss for 10
minutes. Do you think I want to pick pears from the fruit isle, get
a head of fresh iceberg lettuce from produce, or scoop some chocolate
covered raisins with my @ss wiping hand? The answer is NO! I don't
care how much soap you use, it's the thought of my hand near my
@sshole for for a long duration of time.
Anyways, this particular grocery store is clean so when I build my
nest, I only use one layer. I don't build nests like I used to.
Remember the 90s when hot pockets, tombstone pizza, and tina's
burritos were all the rage. You had to build a 5 layer nest to sh*t
in those toilets. That food will give the runs lets be honest here.
Being that this grocery store was in a nice area, clean bathrooms,
and friendly staff, I chose to build a quick 1 layer 2 ply tp nest.
Let's get to the point. My poop is going great. I can't have a
better poop. Everything is right on time. There are no hiccups in
this poop. I'm texting my friends I haven't heard in awhile,
thinking about what I'm going do today, and what I'm going to have
for breakfast. Just doing the normal stuff we as humans do on the
crapper which is poop and think. But I hear a little something from
the other stall which makes me think “what the hell is going on
over there?” I don't pay attention that much because I am so in
engulfed in what I got going on in my toilet that I block it out. I
can't seem to ignore the constant huffing and puffing in short breath
intervals. I think “oh great this guy is jerking off”. Yet, I
don't want to assume this guy is jerking off you know? It's not the
first thing I want my mind to jump to while making an assumption
about the guy next to me in a public restroom stall? At this point I
try to suppress my mind of him jacking off but then I hear him speak.
He utters the words, “sorry for all the racket...I just got the
morning blues”. I respond, “don't worry about it”.
At this point I assume he is having a real hard time taking a sh*t.
We have all been there when it's a process to push one out and to no
avail. So, I give the guy the benefit of the doubt in which in
hindsight I probably shouldn't have. Again, I hear a couple of
groans and the classic jerk off sound that every guy knows
about. The classic short slapping sound of your clothes
rubbing together as your hand is vigorously peeling one off. I'm in
denial at this moment in time. I still didn't want to believe that
this guy is the notorious nutter. Then in a very depressing
voice I hear the man state, “you got to do it somewhere. when your
not getting any at home”. F*ck!!! My life became still. It was
confirmed that this man was indeed jacking off in the stall next to
me. I don't know why but I responded with “you got to do what you
got to do”. There was no time to think about a clever response.
What if I ignored him? What if I scolded him? For whom, am I to
Judge? Would have this angered this man? I didn't want to anger
him. You don't anger a man with a loaded gun... never. This guy
essentially came to the sound of my voice. It was around 8:00am at
this time. That's too early to have a guy cumming to my sultry
smooth voice. Man.........This guy was in mid jack off while trying
to hold a conversation about how he was jacking off next to me. This
is not the way to start the day off right.
I immediately scrambled my fidgety hands for the toilet paper to
wipe and go. I assumed he heard me trying to leave and wanted to
beat me out of there (no pun intended). I believe he wanted to leave
before I left so I wouldn't tell on him. I was cornered though, there
was no way to escape so I decided to hold down the fortress. Also, I
couldn't have hopped off the toilet during mid poop and have a load
of dingle berries in my underwear. I didn't want to walk around the
grocery store with an itchy @ss. I needed some god@mn
eggs! I changed my stance there was no way I was leaving until that
guy left. I assumed he blew his load during our conversation as I
heard him pant and groan some more. I didn't want to think or hear
about it. The damage was done. He had won the wank off war and
I was a victim of this man's debauchery .
After he brought himself to completion, he flushed the toilet and
made his way out. He didn't try holding a conversation anymore as he
had used me. He metaphorically “hit it and quit it”. I would
like to think he was embarrassed at this moment but this guy was a
professional. Professional Jacks like him have no morals.
They don't fall in love with their victims. Anyways, I didn't want
to look through the door crack to put a face to the perpetrator. I
peered through a little just to catch a glimpse of a badger red
sweatshirt as he walked by my stall. At this point I listened to see
if he washed his hands or if he was just going to flee the bathroom
for a quick getaway. I heard him wash his hands and leave. I stayed
in the bathroom stall to lament on what the f*ck just happened? I
felt gross, ashamed, and dirty. I had a lot of thoughts going
through my head at this time. At first I thought it was my fault. I
was asking for it by wearing my high shorts and crocs. This guy took
my manhood, dignity, and integrity only to throw it all away. I felt
like this guy wanted me to jerk him off. I felt like he wanted to
cum on me. Thank god there was no glory hole. It didn't matter if
there was no glory hole, I was within feet of catching cum on my
crocs. Who knows where this dude came? We don't need people like
this in society. You could say this guy was a real jerk!
I finally got the courage to get up off the toilet seat. More
thoughts invaded my head as I thought grocery store workers were
going to blame me for jerking off. I had to wipe quick and get off
the toilet seat so I wouldn't appear to be the sticky bandit.
I slowly opened the door and it was clear. No one was in the
bathroom. I felt disgusted because this bathroom was full of
depressed middle aged cum hand or hands (not sure if he used both
hands). I had to pick a sink to use. Which sink did the cum
bandit use? The right sink with no soap in it or the left sink
with all the soap suds in it. I assumed this public puller
was a responsible masturbator, so I figured he washed his hands in
the left sink with all the soap suds in it. I went for the right
sink to wash my hands. For a second, I thought it was a trap but I
concurred “a lil man juice never hurt anyone”. Lastly, there was
the inevitable door handle to leave the bathroom. My heart skipped a
beat for a minute as I stared down the door handle. I imagined all
the seamen hands that have touched that man handle. Now I
know why so many guys use the paper towel trick to open the door.
I left the bathroom into the grocery store reflecting on what just
happened. Do I tell customer service that a guy in red was talking
to me and jacking off at that same time in the bathroom while I was
taking a poop? I couldn't concentrate, my body was numb, my senses
were off. Why God? Why did you let me hear this? Was this a sign?
Did I miss the lesson you were trying to teach God? Is the lesson
not to jerk off in public because I don't do that God. I would never
do that God. I have a computer for that kind of stuff and I'm sure
that guy has a computer too. I don't care if the guy was not getting
any sex at home. Don't f*cking go to the grocery store public
restroom to peel one off then talk about peeling one off while I'm in
the next stall. There are plenty of places to rub one off in your
house. Maybe you should try to woo your wife a little better than
telling me ( a guy you have never met) about you jerking off in
public. Godd@mnt, maybe I should stop
using god*mnt. Maybe that was the life lesson. Either way bring on
the tally whacker therapy and cum counseling because
I'm a trauma victim who needs help.
Thank you for reading. I feel a lot better now.
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