My Life Unemployed #12 (Road Trip)

My Life Unemployed # 12 (30 Hour Road Trip)

Intro/3 Boys and a Buick

It took only 2 days from being back from a 12 day vacation that I decide to take a 30 hour road trip from Milwaukee to Phoenix. Well... it's not as random as it seems. My twin brother is moving in with his girlfriend so he has this grand idea of driving down there. I thought I would help my brother drive to Phoenix since he doesn't have car insurance (because I do). Also, my younger brother was going to help him drive, but he doesn't have a valid driver's license. Being that I have no job..I thought.. why not help these idiots? What's the worst that can happen when the car you bought two days ago for $500 is a 1990 Buick? So, between the 3 of us we had 2 valid drivers licenses, little to no knowledge of cars, and car insurance for a Toyota Camry (thus nullifying the car insurance). Like I said, “What's the worst that can happen?”

Car Background: 1990 Buick

For being such a sh*tty car, I must say it was very comfortable despite having it packed Beverly Hillbilly style. The outside of the car looked like I was it sitting in a scrap yard rusting away for 10 years . The speedometer fluctuated as it worked when it wanted it to. Luckily, we had a GPS system that told us how fast we were going. The speedometer only went up to 85mph, yet we got the Buick up to 94mph. Probably not a good idea but who cares, I'm here aren’t I. The odometer was funky too. Not sure if it worked but I didn't care not my car. You don't really need that unless your selling the car for resale value.

Another car mishap was that the driver side window did not stay up. We needed to buy a needle nose pliers to “roll up” the window. We had to stuff it with paper to keep it from falling down randomly. Other than that the car was in great shape despite that the check engine light was on for 90% of the trip. We also got nervous when the car stalled at a stop light. I believe we were very luckily as we drove this car over 1200 miles without having a major problem. I forgot to mention that the A/C did not work either, so it made for a warm, sweaty, and moist car ride.

We filled up the gas tank probably 6-7 times. Every time we filled up the gas tank it smelled like gas. We finally realized on the last fill up that the tank was leaking gas when filled to the top. We drove away each gas station leaving a trail of gasoline without knowing it. We don't know sh*t about cars. God were stupid when it comes to cars. I can't believe the car didn't blow up.

Time Line

Tuesday September 3^rd (Milwaukee, Chicago)

6:00pm-Depart My Moms House. Car is Packed with Clothes, Kitchen Ware, & More Clothes

6:10pm-Arrive at Potowatomi Casino. I win $30. Get $50 worth of free food from Casino Restaurant

7:00pm-Leave Milwaukee

8:30pm-Arrive in Chicago to pick up brother. Eat Dinner & Chill Out

9:45pm-Leave Chicago

11:00pm- Check Engine Light goes off and on every 15 minutes

Wednesday September 4 (Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico)

2:00am- In Missouri somewhere at a seedy Grocery Store. Buy needle nose pliers to put up window. See an elderly woman shopping this late. Also see a trashy guy buying flowers. Who needs flowers this late?

6:00am- Get Lost in Kansas City. Dumb GPS is being dumb. We drive through city.

9:30am- Stop in Small Town in Kansas and Eat at a Local Restaurant ran by Amish People. Eat A lot of pastries.

11:00am- Drive Thru Boring Kansas. Go through the not so Great Plains.

12:00pm- Check Engine Light is on permanently. We put oil in oil tank but light is still on.

1:30pm- Go Through Panhandle of Oklahoma. Looks like a dump.

2:30pm- Get to Texas. Looks even more like a dump than Oklahoma.

3:30pm- Eat at BBQ joint in Small Town of Texas. I'm scared of all the old white republicans.

6:30pm- Stop at Casino because it's just off freeway. We say, “lets stay for an hour” but we gamble for 3 hours playing Blackjack.

12:00am- Book a Hotel because it's too late to drive. We pay for hotel with money we won. Take showers and get a good night's rest. 6 more hours to drive!

Thursday September 5^th (New Mexico, Arizona)

11:45am-Leave Hotel, My brother gambles more (wins $50) and I eat breakfast.

1:00pm-Arrive in Arizona. We realize gas is leaking from gas tank. Drive away gas station quickly

3:00pm- Deadly hot heat in AZ with no working A/C.

4:00pm- I end up getting naked in back of car. Doesn't help.

Arrive

PHX Thursday September 5^th 5:15pm

We somehow dodged all toll roads on our road trip. Maybe they don't have toll roads on the way from MKE to PHX. Then we realized that our GPS was routed to avoid major highways and toll roads. This made perfect sense as it seemed like we were on the back roads for the whole trip. I felt like I was near a farm every 15 minutes. It was the most un scenic trip I ever took.

That is the trip. It will be forever remembered as “the Buick that could”. Let this trip be a reminder that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I needed this trip. If a beat up 1990 Buick can get to Milwaukee to Phoenix then a broken man down on his luck (me) should be able to get a full time job.