My Life Unemployed # 9

My Life Unemployed # 9

My 2^nd Interview, Brewers Game, & Casino Again (oops)

My 2^nd Interview at InterFaith Senior Programs

This is a position I just applied to on a whim but after the interview I thought I would actually enjoy working here. I noticed I would be the only male to work here if I got this job as the office was packed with old white ladies. The white collard shirt I wore had 2 beer stains on it from the last 2 weddings I went to. I thought I could hide the stains with the tie I wore. I knew I should've washed the shirt or took it to the cleaners. I guess I could learn how to iron a shirt? That would probably be a good skill to learn. I was prepared to answer the stain question, “So.. How did you get those stains on your shirt and could you go in detail about how it happened?” Unfortunately, they did not ask that question. I accompanied my blue tie with black pants and black shoes. I looked like a server at Olive Garden. I was ready to serve up a side salad, hot bowl of pasta, and desert!!! It only took me 2 tries to tie my tie though. Tie a tie? I love that. Tie... it's a verb and a noun. That's like saying “I pant my pants, I shirted my shirt, and socked my socks”.

Lets just say the weekend I ate like a piggy.  It would've been horrible if I had an upset stomach so

I drank ginger aid hot tea. Ginger is great for your digestive system so I could have irritable free interview. I also relieved myself.... you know... gave myself a 5 finger discount. I thought this would a great way to calm me down but I was relaxed... a little too relaxed.  I had lost my “mojo”.  Next time, I'm going to keep my seamen in me. That sounds really weird but it's true, keep your seamen in you if you want to be successful.  I shaved which is good because I didn't have a gross mustache or 5 clock shadow. But the bad thing was that I looked like a 21 year old. Great... now they thought I was probably a college frat boy.

I believed the interview went pretty good but you never know what the interviewer thinks or how they perceive you. I didn't say “umm” a lot but instead I said “welllll”. At the end of the interview, the interviewer asked me the question, “On a scale to 1 to 10. How nervous were you?” I told her I was 6 or 7. I think I'm naturally a nervous person. I'm like a wigged out squirrel who craves nuts! I need to calm down and be more like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

Celebrated My 2^nd Interview

You got to celebrate having an interview. I know it's not getting a job but getting a interview is still a great thing. I went to the Brewer game and snuck in some good ol fashioned crum (crotch rum). The Brewers are having a promotion in where they give each fan a $10 concession voucher for each game in August. I had 7 tickets and only 4 of us went to the game. So, we went in the game twice at different gates and used 2 different tickets to get $20 in vouchers for food each. We spent $80 of vouchers on food and drinks. We got 2 nachos, 2 cheese curd boats, 4 hot dogs, 2 slices of pizza, and 2 licorice ropes. I also stole a bag of peanuts. We ate like god@mn glutton hobo kings! Thanks for the sh*tstorm Brewers!!!! You actually lose by getting this free $10 voucher for food because the food tastes like donkey piss.

Casino Again

I was feeling lucky... I had the itch to go the casino and make some money the wrong way. This story ends in me losing $80. Instead of applying for jobs I tried to make a quick buck. I enabled my degenerate gambling twin brother to go with me by giving him $40. I basically gave money to my brother so that we could hang out. I'm trying to buy my brother's love back.  Even though I lost that money I still got to spend quality time with my bro.  Hmm.. maybe I'll win back my father's love by buying him booze and pot.  

Trip to the West Coast

I need to reward myself for applying for all these jobs so I'm taking a trip to California, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, and Wyoming. I need to get out of Milwaukee to clear my head. I've been on the grind. My Life Unemployed will be on a 10 day hiatus. I'll see you in September!!!

Blog Round Up

So, in the end I may have lost $80 at the casino but I did go to the Brewer game for free and got $70 worth of free food. If you look at it that way I broke even. Let's be optimistic here.